|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 3, 2006 17:20:56 GMT -5
*comes back* D'you think her e-mail's not working? Or mine? 'cause she's consistently posting stories on FFN.net, so she must have SOME time on the computer.
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 3, 2006 17:49:23 GMT -5
Hmmmmm.... no idea.
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 3, 2006 17:51:56 GMT -5
*sniff* I am ignored.
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 3, 2006 17:57:48 GMT -5
Awwww. *patpat*
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 3, 2006 17:58:23 GMT -5
Tank cho Katie.
Update!
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 3, 2006 18:03:30 GMT -5
I still don't have anything... I started one thing, but then decided to put in another, but then decided to put in another, and... none of them are quite finished.
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 3, 2006 18:05:15 GMT -5
Ah ha. Story of my life.
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 3, 2006 18:14:03 GMT -5
Quite. Hope to do them tomorrow.
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 3, 2006 18:16:45 GMT -5
Tomorrow I will be being hugged by people in weird outfits. Bit like being hugged by my dad really...
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 4, 2006 14:43:38 GMT -5
.... any reason why?
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 7, 2006 9:30:43 GMT -5
Well, he has a habit of wearing really weird clothes, including patchwork trousers and loud shirts.
Oh, and lycra shorts. *shudder*
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 9, 2006 11:54:33 GMT -5
Still haven't been able to finish any bits on this. Sorry.
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 9, 2006 12:39:13 GMT -5
*hypocrite* Tch
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 12, 2006 14:12:30 GMT -5
I WROTE MORE!!!! *hallelujah chorus*
Figwit waltzed happily through the corridors of the Death Star. Normally this would be metaphor for walking along with utmost confidence, near giddiness, but Figwit was actually waltzing – actually dancing down the corridor in three time. Elves are quite peculiar, especially when laden down with many big guns.
He reached a lift emblazoned with the words ‘EMPEROR’S SPECIAL LIFT’, and pressed the Call button, whistling happily to himself. He smiled even at the people who were avoiding his eye. He was in a good mood.
The lift doors opened and he stepped in. As it shot upwards, he hummed quietly and checked the many guns adorning his torso. He wondered whether he’d overdone it slightly, and taken more guns than he could actually use and would just add to his weight and air resistance. But, thinking about it, he couldn’t think of any to leave behind. They were all so nice. He shrugged. He’d deal with it.
He felt the lift slowing down, quickly finished humming and chose two guns to start with. How was he going to handle this? Quietly confident? Scarily aggressive? Coldly efficient? Wisecracking all the way?
Nah.
The lift stopped. He stepped out.
The Emperor didn’t see him – he was too busy talking on a radio. “When you have reached the Hogwarts Gate, just wait. Our contact has promised us that it will be open.”
“We’ve reached the gates already, my Lord.”
“Then why don’t you proceed?”
“We’re just waiting to, my Lord. There’s a bit of a queue.”
Figwit heard the Emperor blink. Oh yes, elvish hearing is just that good. “What do you mean, a queue?”
“I mean, it looks like we’re not the only army intending to attack Hogwarts tonight. Yoda’s here, for one, with some Jedi.”
“Hmph,” snorted the Emperor, “He never could come up with original ideas.”
“And the rumour is, several other Fanverses are coming too-”
Suddenly, another Holophone rang, and the Emperor hurriedly flicked to that one. Figwit was vaguely perplexed to see someone who looked a lot like Aragorn appear.
“What is it?” snapped the Emperor.
“I think our cover may be blown,” said ‘Aragorn’, “I think Elrond’s guessed I’m not really Aragorn.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Well, partly because of the way he looks at us sometimes… but mainly because he just strode in and said, ‘You’re not Aragorn, are you?’”
“What?? How could he have seen through your illustrious disguise?”
“I have no idea! I had a nametag and everything!”
Figwit heard the Emperor exhale forcefully and slowly. “How did you handle it?”
“I said I needed the bathroom.”
“And then what?”
“… Called you from the bathroom.”
“Ah.” The Emperor paused. “Any plans on what to do next?”
“Er. Add another nametag? With the name in capital letters,” he added eagerly, “And underlined.”
Before the Emperor could try to persuade ‘Aragorn’ that this was not the best defence, yet another Holophone rang. Figwit sighed in irritation. As much as he wanted to annoy the Emperor, he was a polite elf, and wouldn’t dream of doing anything until he’d finished his phone calls.
“What now?” snapped the Emperor at the stormtrooper who appeared on the latest Holophone.
“My Lord, there’s a ship approaching fast – Firefly class.”
“What?” said the Emperor sharply, “Where did it come from?”
“From one of the plot holes – probably the Luke-seemed-to-be-on-Dagobah-for-ages-but-Han-and-Leia-hardly-spent-any-time-flying-around-and-on-Bespin one.”
The Emperor groaned. “We’ve got to patch that up at some point. Get those PR stormtroopers to think of an excuse. Meanwhile, prepare defences, activate the tractor beam-”
“That’s the problem, my Lord. The defences have been deactivated. There’s some sort of radio signal blocking them.”
“What?? What are the odds of someone working out the exact frequency needed to do that?”
“Well, it’s not impossible-”
“Don’t tell me,” sighed the Emperor, “Just very, very improbable.”
Figwit had had enough. His politeness had been overridden sufficiently by his determination that if the Emperor was going to have a nervous breakdown, as seemed inevitable, he wanted to be the one to push him over the edge. He considered announcing his presence by arming a blaster loudly - but then realized that was a cliché, and elves were far above resorting to clichés.
He then considered just going over and introducing himself. But even that had almost become a cliché. He frowned. What wasn’t a cliché any more?
It dawned on him the Emperor was probably under a lot of stress right now. Sympathy was a trait encouraged in elves, so he fished out some Chocolate Buttons he’d removed from the mini-bar.
He wandered over just as the Emperor was saying tiredly, “All right – just – try to stop them once they board-”
“Chocolate button?” asked Figwit, proffering the bag.
The Emperor took some without really noticing, and continued, “-most likely they’re from another Fanverse so do some research, find out who they could be-”
“I said you could have one, not three,” said Figwit in wounded tones.
The Emperor stopped. He very slowly looked down at the few Buttons still in his hand, as though suddenly realizing they were there. He then slowly rotated in his chair to see Figwit.
“If you’d taken two, I would understand,” continued Figwit, “One is just pathetic on its own, and normally they are stuck together, so even though I said you could have one, I would understand you taking two. But three? That’s just greedy.”
The Emperor continued to stare at the elf standing in front of him, bedecked in scary blasters.
“Hang a tick,” said Figwit suddenly, “I never specified one. I apologize for impugning your honour. Though I specifically said ‘chocolate button’, that is, in the singular, so you could have deduced it on your own. But since the quantity could have been open for interpretation due to my failure to specify a number, perhaps I was hasty in accusing you of presumptuous gluttony.”
The Emperor stared a little while longer. Then he blinked. Then he stared some more.
Confident that any possible clichés had successfully been averted, Figwit beamed at the Emperor, and said, “Hi. I’m Figwit. I was previously your prisoner.”
To his credit, the Emperor recovered the power of speech within seventeen seconds. “And now?”
“Well…” Figwit looked down at all the blasters adorning his torso, and the several strapped to his limbs, and then at the Chocolate Buttons. “I was wondering whether we could discuss re-evaluating my status.”
The Emperor had never been to the seaside; but at that moment he could appreciate, more clearly than anyone in the universe, the full meaning of the turning of the tide.
|
|
|
Post by goblingirl on Apr 12, 2006 14:24:10 GMT -5
Chocolate buttons! *snarfles*
|
|