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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 3, 2005 23:46:42 GMT -5
Post! Or I shall retract all warm fuzzies.
I will be gone for a week, so when I come back, there had BETTER be updateness...
Else I shall be much sad.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 4, 2005 2:29:16 GMT -5
Ummmmm. OK.
*tries to write more*
The annoying thing is, this story seems eager to veer away from crazee. Which is the only genre where it will be taken seriously... if you get what I mean. It must be crazee to be serious.
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Post by amavi on Jul 4, 2005 5:55:51 GMT -5
crazee? This is a new word for Sarah.
GO KATIE GO!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 4, 2005 6:06:44 GMT -5
AAAAAARGH I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 10, 2005 0:56:30 GMT -5
The week's up, Katie!
I'm so dissapointed!
It can have some serious stuff, as long as you can squeeze in a bunch of Humorous descriptions. See NEVERWHERE as an example.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 10, 2005 5:04:25 GMT -5
I'm soooorrryyyyyy!!!!!!! Inspiration has failed me here. As with Hawthorne Dene. I'm spending the weekend at Sarah's, maybe she can get it going again.
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 10, 2005 21:34:56 GMT -5
Sarah, it all rests on your shoulders. Beat Katie with a stick for me if inspiration continues to fail her.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 12, 2005 11:18:02 GMT -5
Still no inspiration. Apologies.
*beats self with a stick*
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 15, 2005 14:59:41 GMT -5
*hands Katie a bigger stick*
Maybe this will help.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 31, 2005 12:00:28 GMT -5
Oh, thank you.
*THUD* *THUD* *THUD*
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 31, 2005 12:10:37 GMT -5
I wrote more... but I'm not sure about this bit yet, I might completely rewrite it, but let me know what you think...
Silence filled the lift once more, and Ashley and Sam were left with their thoughts.
Ashley’s mind was reeling as logic, curiosity, excitement, suspicion and imagination all bickered loudly, trying to make their points heard. The harder she tried to make sense of them all, the louder they seemed to talk, so all she got was a confused burble of noise. She was forced to listen to the small, clear voice at the back of her mind, which seemed to be singing ‘Que sera, sera’ for some reason.
Sam’s brain was so packed with disbelief that there was scarcely room for anything else. If someone had asked him at that moment, “What’s one plus one?” he would have answered first, “Where the hell did you come from?”, and then, “Why the hell are you asking me that?”, and finally, if that person’s answers to the first two questions had been adequate, he would have cried incredulously, “INTER-UNIVERSAL TUNNEL?”
However, nearly stifled by all his disbelief, but still undeniably present, was a little voice saying, “Whoa. If this is true, it’s kinda cool.”
“What do you think?” asked Ashley eventually.
“I think it’s a joke,” said Sam, without hesitation.
Ashley shrugged. “Fair enough.”
Sam lifted his face from his hands and turned to look at her, as if trying to read what she was really thinking from her expression. He didn’t particularly like what he found. “What – you believe it?” he asked in disbelief.
Ashley shrugged again. “I see no reason not to.”
Sam laughed, not at her, but at the sheer absurdity of the idea that she was allowing herself to take this seriously. “Oh, come on!” Ashley looked at him questioningly. “This lift has just told us that it’s taking us to a parallel dimension!”
“Universe,” corrected Bifrost.
Sam swore loudly, and Ashley cut in quickly. “Look, Sam,” she said in what she hoped were reassuring tones, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been lied to by a lift. Have you?"
"Well, no, but-"
"So generally lifts are trustworthy. And as I see it, if this is a joke or scam or something – what would be the point? No-one stands to gain anything, do they?”
Sam knew this was a perfectly logical point, but right now his brain was threatening to go on strike and leap out his ear for working in unacceptable conditions. “I know that,” he said in as patient a voice he could manage, “But… the thing is…” What was the thing? How should he know? “It just can’t be possible,” he finished lamely.
“Probably not,” shrugged Ashley, “But it makes a change, doesn’t it?”
“How are taking all this so calmly?” asked Sam in slight disbelief.
“Would you prefer that I panicked?” replied Ashley, “Because otherwise I just don’t see the point.”
“No – how are you just accepting this?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m hoping that it’s true. My life’s pretty boring, you see.” She paused. “Do you want a hug?”
“No!”
“All right.”
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 31, 2005 12:11:49 GMT -5
If anything could make this situation odder than it already was, Sam thought, it was the addition of this girl. His brain was starting to settle down slightly, and that little voice at the back was becoming more prominent. But still… “Bifrost?” he called, “Are you there?”
“Would I be anywhere else?” replied the lift in slightly amused tones.
“Look – is this a joke, or a scam, or a reality TV show, or advertising stunt, or lucid dream or something?”
“Or scientific experiment?” added Ashley.
“Not exactly sure,” said the lift, “They didn’t specify what you were being taken for.”
Sam and Ashley looked at each other. “What?”
“I was just told to - let me see…” There was a slight humming sound. “Ah, here we are. ‘Collect minimum one specimen, minimum Intelligence Factor 4, from Universe #23382742 and deliver them to Universe #11381016 without attracting attention.’”
“Why?” asked Ashley. She had been fine with this situation up till now, but now that she had learnt they were being taken for some specific cause, the first signs of fear were stirring inside her.
“No idea,” said Bifrost, and then added in slightly wounded tones, “I said, no-one tells me these things.”
Sam shook his head, frowning. “I have a bad feeling about this…”
“Ah!” said Bifrost suddenly, back in his normal cheery business-like tones, “Green light. Prepare yourselves, we’ll be there any moment.”
“Really?” said Ashley in surprise, “But isn’t it a long way between AAARGH!”
She broke off and suddenly clutched her nose, crying out. Sam did the same. The rest of them felt perfectly normal, but their inner noses, the part which feels strange when you accidentally sneeze milk through your nose, felt as though it was being squashed into a ball, flipped in circles, bounced around their heads and then starting salsa dancing. In fact, they probably were.
“AARGH!” echoed Sam, “Holy crap, what’s wrong with my nose??”
“Apologies,” said Bifrost in preoccupied tones, “Travelling through the fifth dimension at infinite speed can have that effect. It’ll stop in a moment.”
Sure enough, as quickly as the feeling had come on, it faded away, leaving Ashley and Sam rubbing their noses confusedly, not quite sure what had just happened.
“You get a strange feeling in your stomach when travelling along the first three dimensions,” explained Bifrost, “And you get a strange feeling in your nose when travelling along the fourth, fifth and sixth.”
“Oh,” said Sam sarcastically, “That explains it.”
“It does sum it up rather neatly, doesn’t it?” said Bifrost pleasantly. “I did warn you, after all. Since each universe is infinitely sized, we must travel at infinite speeds in order to get anywhere…”
“Infinite?” said Ashley, “But nothing can travel faster than the speed of light! The closer you get, the heavier you get until you reach near infinite mass and it’s impossible to move…”
“If you’ll pardon me,” said Bifrost primly, “But those are the rules in your universe. We’re not in any universe right now. The laws of physics don’t apply, because there are no laws out here. There’s Nothing, with a capital N.”
Sam barely heard this, because he was still staring at Ashley, trying to believe that someone as peculiar as this could exist. “You’re weird. Where do you learn all this?”
“I have no life and read lots,” said Ashley shortly, “Do you have a problem with that?”
“Oh, no, no,” said Sam, “Lucky me. On my wondrous adventure to another universe, I get to be accompanied by a girl who argues with lifts about physics!”
“And I’m accompanied by a grouchy trying-to-be-depressed-even-though-you-probably-have-nothing-to-be-depressed-about self-absorbed idiot,” shot back Ashley, “Who has this chance of a lifetime, and is prepared to sulk throughout. And I wasn’t arguing!” she added in slight apologetic tones to Bifrost.
“It’s no problem, miss,” said Bifrost happily, “Brightens up my day, as a matter of fact. Now, we’ve arrived, so good luck, and may I say it’s been a pleasure transporting you today-”
“Arrived?” said Ashley, her stomach clenching strangely, “Where are we?”
“Universe #11381016, of course. As ordered.”
“Who ordered you?” demanded Sam quickly.
“Didn’t think it polite to ask,” said Bifrost airily, “But as far as I know, the orders came from Polymus.”
“Who’s that?” demanded Sam.
“What’s that?” asked Ashley, at the exact same moment.
“No idea,” said Bifrost cheerily, “Good luck!”
The doors of the lift slid open behind them.
Heehee... liddle cliffhanger for you. Ahh, they're fun. Not posting more because I'm DEFINITELY not sure about the next bit.
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 1, 2005 18:27:01 GMT -5
AUUUUGH! KATIE! You're being mean again!
It's definitely NOT turning serious, as that's what you were alarmed about, and it has a LOT of good potential!
There's something about the first two paragraphs that bothers me, but it's nothing that I can really put my finger on. I'm always bad when describing disbelief; I either make it so the characters over-react a little too much, or I let them accept it too quickly because it just makes life SO much easier. I think- and pardon me for saying so- that their reactions- more Sam's than Ashley's- were a little over-the top. Not a lot, but a bit.
Other than that, I think it's fantastic! I love your writing!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 2, 2005 12:21:43 GMT -5
I spent a while thinking about their reactions, but the thing is, I have no idea how someone would react in that situation... and they're total strangers, so they don't quite know what to say... and because of social mores, we're naturally supposed to disbelieve this sort of thing, but Ashley doesn't follow social mores, so Sam's really more amazed that Ashley's accepting it, and...
OK, shutting up. I hadn't noticed, but I'll definitely go over that bit again. I'm having problem with dialogue in this one, I'm going to make my drama club act out what they'd say in that situation.
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 2, 2005 23:51:05 GMT -5
Ooh, that's a very good idea! I never thought of doing that.
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