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Post by Hobbit-eyes on May 5, 2005 2:12:38 GMT -5
"The dweam wiffin a dweam..."
;D
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Post by Boo on May 5, 2005 4:19:14 GMT -5
"Mawwaige....mawwaige shaww bwing us togethew...today...."
Hehehehehe...
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on May 5, 2005 7:04:12 GMT -5
Hehehehehehehehehehehehe...........
"Dead, huh? I'll take a look at him."
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Post by Boo on May 5, 2005 10:11:07 GMT -5
"LIAR! LIAR LIIAAAAAR!"
"Get back witch! Don't say it!"
"What, Humperdinck?"
"AAH!"
"Humperdinck! Humperdinck! HumperDIIINCK!"
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on May 5, 2005 11:06:15 GMT -5
"Get back witch!"
"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!!"
Oh, I love those two...
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Post by Jackie on May 5, 2005 12:06:39 GMT -5
AMAZING MOVIE!!!
"trooooo.... luuuuuv...."
"True Love! He said true love! You cannot ask for a better reason than that!"
"Well, of course, True Love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice BLT, a bacon, lettuce, and tomato, especially when bacon is nice and lean, and the lettuce is fresh... but that's not what he said! He clearly said, "tooo blaaathe," which of course means, to bluff! So you must've been playing cards, and he cheated!"
"Liar! Liar LIAAAAR!"
"Back Witch!"
"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore! True love! He said true love, Max!"
Amazing.
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Post by Ashley on May 5, 2005 17:35:08 GMT -5
Didn't he say an MLT? A mutton lettuce and tomato?
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on May 6, 2005 2:32:20 GMT -5
Yes, I believe he did....
"I give you my word as a Spaniard!"
"No good. I've known too many Spaniards."
"You are wonderful!"
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Because I know something you don't know!"
"And what is that?"
"I am not left handed!"
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Post by Ashley on May 16, 2005 14:55:37 GMT -5
Sigh....such a great movie, and I still haven't watched it again yet.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on May 18, 2005 7:34:20 GMT -5
Kingdom of Heaven
When I first heard about this film, I was an Orli fangirl, and went "YAAAAY, beloved is in another film!!!"
When I next heard about this film, a year later and with that terrible time behind me, I went "Aaaaaaaaaaargh, The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom as the star in a Troy re-hash!!!" and made a pact not to see it.
When I NEXT heard about this film, I actually saw the advert. And stared. And blinked.
"Orli.... has learnt to ACT????"
Sadly, not entirely. But he's on the right path. Ridley Scott must be a genius to coax a performance from that Boy-Band-Amalgam-Paper-Cut-out.
And so I went to see it - the first ever film I saw by myself, as no-one else was free. And I was actually amazed.
It wasn't the best film I'd ever seen, but it's pretty damn good. The storyline's good, the special effects were AMAZING, The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom was bearable (though hard to care about) and the final battle..... Pelennor Fields, I'm sorry, but it whupped yo ass. Still wasn't quite on the same level as Helm's Deep on the personal, feeling real level, but the scale was incredible.
OK, let's look at this objectably.
The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom was Balian (a blacksmith AGAIN) who, instead of mooning after the governor's daughter, had actually just lost his wife and son (for once his blank lost expression is fitting). Immediately we're plunged into religious questions - because Balian's wife killed herself, she can't get into heaven. It makes you think, what kind of religion is that?
And then Liam Neeson turns up, as a knight called Godfrey on his way to the Crusades, and announces that he is Balian's father, and wants Balian to come with him. Needless to say, Balian is kinda hesitant. But then Balian murders an "evil" priest who stole his wife's crucifix and beheaded her after she died (????? You're not supposed to ask. Apparently it's just because she committed suicide) and suddenly Jerusalem seems like an attractive place.
Liam Neeson is by far one of the best actors in it. Sadly he's not in it for too long. Before he dies, he passes his title onto Balian (he's a Lord of some place) and gives him a lovely motivational speech which screams "GIVE ME AN OSCAR!!!" about being a knight, not for his country or for his religion, but for defending the weak and helpless and all that jazz. And then hits him. One of the best bits.
So Balian gets to Jerusalem. On the way, he makes an enemy, and there is one of the most thought-provoking bits - a man shouting to the Crusaders that killing a Muslim is not murder, but the pathway to heaven. Which is what they actually believed. Huh.
At Jerusalem, Balian quickly invents some sort of water transport system for his land workers to save them work and irrigate that piece of land (here's the confusing thing - Balian's the SMART one???) and promptly falls in love with Princess Sybilla, the sister of the King, who just happens to be married to that guy who doesn't like him. Convenient.... or contrived...
I won't give much else away, other than Balian makes buddies with the king and there are several battles which are AWESOME. But I will rant about them later.
The interesting thing about this film is that people thought it would be anti-Muslim - but it's not. It's quite the reverse. It's actually anti-fanatic-Christian. All the fighting is started by some of the Knights Templar, who go and destroy some Muslim villages and kill the sister of Saladin, the Muslim leader. Not a good move.
And still people aren't happy! There's that guy saying this is 'Osama Bin Laden's version of history'. Well, I think it's not anti-Muslim OR anti-Christian - it's basically saying that religious fanacism is not actually good.
Eva Green as Sybilla is... well, like Helen in Troy, but slightly more life-like. There for the love interest, except she cuts her hair off at the end, THANK HEAVENS not to join the battle but as a sign of humility. She and The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom make a perfect couple, may I say. Both as lifeless as each other.
Brendan Gleeson is good as a war-hungry Templar, and Martin Csokas as Guy (Balian's enemy) is suitably 'raaargh'y. But both of those baddies are a bit one-dimensional, not very developed.
Saladin, I thought, was very good. He's not painted as 'EEEEVIL', but instead as someone who cares about Islam and believes a wrong has been done to him - which it has, in the film. One of the best moments is when he comes across a fallen crucifix and sets it back upright. Not necessarily what the Saladin in history would have done, but makes a damn profound moment.
And the best character of them all, that little bit better than Godfrey... King Baldwin, played by Edward Norton. He was AMAZING. A young king, dying of leprosy, aware that his kingdom will fall into the hands of the Knights Templar and trying to stop it while his health fails. He made me cry SO MUCH.
And Jeremy Irons was good as an old friend of Godfrey's, and someone for The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom to talk to, but didn't do much else.
And now... onto the battle scenes. JEEPERS, they're good. Whether it's The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom against four assassins or the entire Muslim army against the last defences of Jerusalem (because of low numbers, Balian decides to knight pretty much everyone in the city at once. Now THERE'S efficiency), the fighting is well planned, has gore only when necessary, and is DAMN EXCITING. But I couldn't help but suppress a giggle when Balian thought it would be smart to ride against the Muslim cavalry with about twelve horses... you can see it on the advert, and it looked hilarious. But is also poignant. I guess.
The final battle for Jerusalem has tangs of Helm's Deep ("It's not for Jerusalem we're fighting, it's for the people in it!") and Pelennor Fields (siege towers and catapults, but then they're standard) but one shot from above, showing Christian and Muslim soldiers crammed up against each other and neither budging an inch, with bodies heaped around, shows very well the pointlessness of war.
Also, for the first time in his life, The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom makes a very good point. He asks why one religion should have Jerusalem, and whether the Wall, or the Mosque, or the Church was necessarily more important than the other. And those are questions we really ought to be asking ourselves today.
Overall, I liked it. I liked it very much. I'll definitely buy it on DVD. And even if you aren't into this kind of film, I'd go and see it just to marvel at The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom coming close to exuding emotion and see the battles on TEH MASSIVE SCREEN.
Oh, and the timeless line: "I once fought for two days with an arrow in my testicle." Go you, Liam Neeson.
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Post by Ashley on May 18, 2005 15:18:56 GMT -5
What, the Meerkat, show....emotion? Wow....that's a start. When I saw the trailor, I thought that he looked better than his normal pretty boy self. And as for the timeless line, I'm putting that on the list of things I didn't know about Liam Neeson.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 18, 2005 14:28:25 GMT -5
Liam Neeson is AMAZING. And not just in the film. He's *mimes long hair* QUI-GON!
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Post by Ashley on Jun 19, 2005 23:00:05 GMT -5
*sigh* *shakes head*
I have always like Liam...he has the greatest name ever.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 20, 2005 6:02:04 GMT -5
Just saw Batman Begins... Liam is awesome in that too. How can he be so awesome? *sets up Liam Neeson Appreciation Shrine*
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Post by Ashley on Jun 20, 2005 18:50:45 GMT -5
*appreciates Liam*
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