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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jun 30, 2005 11:36:26 GMT -5
AAAAHHHHH!
Darth Vader's arrival into Hobbiton was AMAZING! AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING! It made me so happy....
"Thank you, child. If anyone asks, you did not see me. And when our triumph here is recorded in the Sith archives for all to wonder at, you shall be remembered and whatinthenameoftheforceareyoudoing???"
*giggles madly* That had me going for a while.
And ther Emperor's glare... Ahhhhhhh... This story makes me feel good.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 1, 2005 2:39:47 GMT -5
Awwww, thankies!!!!
Wait till Darth Vader comes to find Frodo...
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Jul 1, 2005 12:35:25 GMT -5
Yes, Daisy was so adorable...and Papa Vader was just great. He's going to meet Frodo?
...This is going to be good...
Keep it up, Katie! You totally rock!
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Post by Ashley on Jul 1, 2005 21:17:06 GMT -5
“Er. I’m a bit occupied with causing havoc in your world right now, but perhaps later.”
Ehehehe...this story make me feel good as well. I love it. *huggles Katie*
You are a genius.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 3, 2005 4:51:30 GMT -5
YAYAYAYAYAY.
Must put stories up more often. Warm fuzzies are niiiiice.
... so will put more of this up later today.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 3, 2005 5:26:43 GMT -5
Meanwhile, literally a world away, the sun shone brightly off the windows of Hogwarts. The sky was a clear blue, with only one or two wispy clouds floating in it uncertainly as if unsure they were supposed to be there. Birds who had recently fled Middle-earth arrived at the Forbidden Forest, alighted on the trees, and began to sing lustily, before being snapped up by wolves a few moments later. There was a reason the Forbidden Forest was silent.
Inside the castle, students went about their business happily. It was early summer, and they were making the most of it, knowing that some cataclysmic and tragic event was sure to happen soon – on the last day of the exams, most likely. It seemed odd that something always happened at that time of year, and always seemed to involve Harry in some way, but it certainly explained why they had been forced to sign that contract at the start of the year that they wouldn’t sue the school if they got maimed/ transfigured/ killed while at school.
Even Harry, Ron and Hermione were complacent. Nothing too untoward had happened to them this year. Yes, a dragon had attacked them in October, and yes, some of the students were vanishing mysteriously when they went into the Forbidden Forest, but nothing too bad.
Which is why when they entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom, they weren’t as alarmed as they could have been when they saw a man they didn’t know behind the desk, writing ‘PROFESSOR RUMANSA’ on the blackboard.
“Where’s Professor Disposabilis?” asked Hermione as they all took their seats.
The man turned around. He was wearing white robes, had long white hair and a beard, but oddly wore thick black glasses with a fake nose and black moustache attached. “He is – er – on holiday. Yes, that will do. He won’t be returning to teach you. I am the substitute, and my name is Professor Rumansa. And I will be teaching you for the time being.”
“That was a quick appointment,” said Harry, “Dumbledore said they had real trouble finding applicants now.”
Professor Rumansa’s eyes darted about nervously underneath the black glasses. “Er, well, er, yes, er, he thought, er, I was the best person for the job. Yes. That’s right. And do not question my authority!” he added, trying to sound indignant.
Ron and Harry looked at each other and shrugged.
“Anyway, yes, let’s see….” Professor Rumansa moved around paper on his desk, trying to look as though he knew what he was doing, though he exuded an atmosphere of total bafflement. “So, I expect you are all already quite proficient in – what subject is this again?”
“Defence against the Dark Arts,” prompted Hermione.
“Ah yes. That. Well, you won’t really need much actual teaching, will you?”
“Sir?” said Ron in shock.
“Well, we can only take you so far, so, er, why don’t you just practice what you know?” The class stared back at him. “Actual experience teaches you more than you could learn in a thousand textbooks,” he added, and looked surprised that something he’d said actually made some semblance of sense.
“How are we supposed to practice?” asked Hermione, frowning.
“What’s that?”
“There aren’t exactly any dark lords around for us to battle with,” pointed out Hermione.
“Not for another few weeks, anyway,” added Ron, glancing at Harry, who sighed as he remembered the upcoming battle-between-good-and-evil.
Professor Rumansa dithered. “Are there none at all?”
“Nope.”
“Dammit. I mean, er, good,” he said quickly, seeing the pupils’ faces, “Hogwarts being destroyed would be very, er, bad. So, um…” He seemed to abandon that idea, and looked around the room for inspiration. “So…. Erm…. What have you learnt so far this year?”
Professor Rumansa struggled through the hour, asking for a sum-up on everything they’d learnt so far, all of the students’ names and past histories, and, surprisingly, whether any of them liked ‘The Lord of the Rings’. Finally, the bell went, and Professor Rumansa was out of the room before you could say, “Don’t forget to do your homework.”
“Don’t forget to do your-” he babbled quickly as he ducked out the door and slammed it behind him. The class sat in shock, hearing his footsteps shuffling hurriedly down the corridor. A moment later, a door slammed in the distance.
There was a silence as the students searched for the appropriate comment for this situation.
“That was peculiar,” Ron settled on finally.
“I agree,” said Hermione, “He didn’t seem to be a werewolf, or possessed by You-Know-Who, or particularly evil in any way… what sort of plot relevance is he supposed to be?”
“I don’t know,” shrugged Ron, “Maybe Harry will make friends with him, like Lupin…”
Harry stared at them both. “Are you two blind? Can’t you see what’s happening?” Ron and Hermione shook their heads. Harry shook his head in amazement. “Professor Disposabilis’ mysterious disappearance? Professor Rumansa just appearing out of nowhere, and keeping referring to ‘The Lord of the Rings’? The NERD review coming up?”
“I’m sure it’ll be blindingly obvious once it’s pointed out,” said Ron eagerly.
“What are you saying, Harry?” said Hermione.
Harry took a deep breath. “Professor Disposabilis must be in league with Voldemort, and this man is his long-lost brother come to protect us!”
Outside, a bird chirped tentatively in the distance, and was quickly silenced.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 3, 2005 5:27:15 GMT -5
In the Shire, the sun set in a satisfied kind of way. The pinky-gold light shone off the windows of Bag End, and as the sun sank below the horizon, the glow slid off them in a reluctant kind of laziness, as though it was enjoying itself perfectly well where it was and didn’t want to leave.
A warm silence hung over Hobbiton. The last of the summer haze hung in the streets, giving everyone a pleasant, happy, drowsy feeling. It seemed as though it would be a peaceful night.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Frodo Baggins was sitting in his living room, feet up on a stool, reading a recent letter from Bilbo, when the stillness inside the room was shattered by three, sharp knocks on the front door.
Frodo sat up sharply and stared at the door. In his experience, sharp unexpected knocks on the door didn’t lead to anything good. He hesitated, but his Baggins politeness combined with Tookish curiosity encouraged him to get to his feet and go tentatively over to the door.
He pulled it open to find Darth Vader on his doorstep, with his hand raised as though he had just been about to knock again. “Oh,” said Darth Vader in surprise, “So you were just slow answering the door… I see.”
There was a moment of awkwardness, as Frodo struggled with his two conflicting sides. The Baggins side wanted to ask, “Who are you?” while the Took side wanted to ask roughly the same, except not put so politely.
The threatening demeanour of his guest prompted him to use the Baggins approach. “May I help you?” he asked.
“Are you Frodo Baggins?” asked Darth Vader.
“Yeees…” replied Frodo slowly, and wondered why his mind started yelling, ‘IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!’ at him.
He was answered when Darth Vader strode through the door with one impressive stride, and in the same movement, grabbed Frodo’s collar and hoisted him into the air until his face was directly opposite his own black mask. The breathing sounded alarmingly close from there.
“It would appear, Master Baggins,” said Darth Vader slowly, “That you’ve been causing us a bit of trouble…”
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Jul 3, 2005 12:48:47 GMT -5
“Yeees…” replied Frodo slowly, and wondered why his mind started yelling, ‘IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!’ at him.
Genius! Oh man, this is going to be great! Keep it up, Katie, you rock!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 3, 2005 13:34:55 GMT -5
;D Yay.
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Post by amavi on Jul 3, 2005 16:51:57 GMT -5
YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I can't believe I hadn't checked this for so long! You be a genius, Katie!! No, make that a Genius, with a capital 'G'. I loved Daisy...hehehe...in fact, all of it is great...GO KATIE! GO KATIE! GO KATIE!
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 3, 2005 23:53:00 GMT -5
*Giggles madly*
"?Yeees?? replied Frodo slowly, and wondered why his mind started yelling, ?IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!? at him."
I'm with Tiki, that was amazing.
Much happiness in the day of the Jackie!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 4, 2005 2:27:26 GMT -5
*actually does happy little hand wavy dance in the chair*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Must write more. But... inspiration is failing. Suggestions?
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Post by amavi on Jul 6, 2005 13:40:31 GMT -5
Uhm...Gandalf turns up in Hogwarts? Dumbledore in Hobbiton? Creating much confusion?
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 7, 2005 7:48:46 GMT -5
Well, I had the idea that Saru- I mean, Professor Rumansa - tries to disrupt Hogwarts from within, while Storm troopers come and attack it and some of the hobbits enrol there - meanwhile, some characters from all the fandoms come here to try and get people to like their fandom best - and Han Solo taking Aragorn's place, maybe...
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Post by amavi on Jul 7, 2005 8:16:42 GMT -5
Hmmmm... 'here' being Earth as we know it now?
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