|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 8, 2005 12:50:49 GMT -5
Yes... just imagine Anakin Skywalker turning up at your house, saying brightly, "Love Star Wars most of all!", handing you a 'I HEART STAR WARS' badge, and then walking away again...
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 8, 2005 12:53:39 GMT -5
I have literally just finished these bits... so I apologize for any errors. But if I left it much longer you might have hurt me.
Aragorn was stalking through the woods near to Bree in a way that Rangers have perfected. Rangers don’t walk anywhere – they always stride purposefully, even if there only purpose is to get up and get a snack.
He didn’t really have any purpose today. The hobbits weren’t due to turn up for a couple of weeks. He just felt like a good stalk.
However, it was interrupted by a beeping noise in his pocket. It took a moment to get out of Story Aragorn mode and remember that it was the emergency transmitter – the small phone given to all the major canon characters lest they all needed to be contacted at once, and beacons or messengers just weren’t fast enough.
Aragorn frowned as he took it out. What was so important to break canon?
“Ahoy hoy?”
“Aragorn?”
It was Elrond. Uh-oh. Had he found out what he and Arwen had really been doing when they said she was teaching him Eregion history?
“Er, yes?”
“I’m calling a council. You need to come to Rivendell immediately.”
“Oh. All right. Wouldn’t you normally tell me through a messenger though?”
“Yes, but I needed to warn you as well. As you know, the NERD review is coming up, and we have a real chance to get more funding this year…”
“Oh yes,” said Aragorn, and mused, “We could get Rivendell redecorated.”
“What’s wrong with Rivendell?”
“Nothing, nothing,” said Aragorn hurriedly, “You were saying?”
“I know some say my tastes are feminine, but I think all the open balconies and mouldings really add atmosphere,” Elrond said in wounded tones.
“Yes, Elrond, I couldn’t agree more,” soothed Aragorn, “What were you saying about the NERD review?”
“Oh. Yes. Well, some other fandoms aren’t too happy about us stealing their fans. Star Wars, in particular. We’re a bit worried about sabotage. I haven’t been able to get in contact with Frodo, and you’re nearly as popular as him… keep your eyes open.”
“Got it,” said Aragorn, “What about Legolas?”
“He’s already on his way from Mirkwood. He ought to be all right.”
“Faramir? Boromir? The other hobbits?”
“All other characters are accounted for. It’s just Frodo, and that random elf from the Council all those girls seem to like.”
“Oh yeah… who was he again?”
“Work experience elf.”
“Ah.”
“So just get to Rivendell as fast as you can. We can formulate a counter-attack strategy once everyone’s here.”
“See you soon, Elrond.” Aragorn closed the transmitter and slipped it back into his pocket.
Well, at least he had a purpose for stalking now. He immediately turned east and set off to Rivendell.
He had barely gone a few steps when his Ranger senses told him someone was nearby. Maybe it was the slight change in the air; maybe it was the faint rustling of leaves; or maybe it was the fact that a man had just stumbled onto the path a few feet in front of him.
“Why are there so many damn trees here?” he was cursing and scrambling to his feet.
“It’s a forest, Han, generally there are trees here,” said a woman who stepped out of the trees next to him. She was closely followed by another man, who seemed to be trying to suppress a smile.
The three of them saw him at once, and immediately blocked the path in front of him. “Aragorn, I presume?” said the second man.
“Errrrr,” said Aragorn, “Yes.”
“I’m hotter than him,” said the first man disparagingly.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the woman, raising an eyebrow at Aragorn, sounding interested, “He has a certain rugged manliness to him which is appealing…”
The first man stared at her in shocked silence. The second man, meanwhile, said, “You probably don’t know us. My name is Luke Skywalker, and this is Leia Organa and Han Solo.”
“Star Wars,” breathed Aragorn, and immediately drew Anduril. He suddenly remembered it was still broken in half. Damn canon laws.
Han suppressed a snort. “I wouldn’t bother with that,” said Luke, “My sword’s far better.”
“What do you want?” demanded Aragorn.
“Oh, nothing much,” said Luke airily, “I hope you understand that this is nothing personal.”
“Not for you, maybe,” grumbled Han, “Some of us have ‘Number one Dashing Rogue’ titles to uphold.”
Aragorn looked at all three of them. “What do you-”
Leia shot him with her blaster. Luke and Han watched as he collapsed backwards, a look of bafflement frozen on his face.
"You know, Leia," said Luke, "I'm really going to have to talk to you about interrupting people."
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 8, 2005 12:54:19 GMT -5
Even after several hours, Frodo still wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. Someone had knocked on the door… he had opened it… and then he had been seized by some mechanical monstrosity who called itself ‘Darth Vader’.
That he could remember. No, what his mind was trying to grasp was how he had got from there into a sack on board a shuttle about to depart for the Death Star.
He hadn’t meddled in the affairs of wizards recently, had he?
He heard Darth Vader talking to someone, and listened intently.
“We have captured the protagonist, my master. He will be with you shortly. And I have received word from my son that the ranger has been dealt with accordingly, and we have forces on their way to intercept the elf.”
“You have done well, Lord Vader,” he heard the person reply, “You, however, must remain in Middle-earth. Try to make contact with their local Evil Overlord – Sauron, I think his name is. See if you can make a deal with him.”
“And the Watching Dimensions?”
“I am confident the Prequel Trilogy characters can handle that. Meanwhile, I am sending forces to the Harry Potter universe.”
“Very good, my Lord.” The conversation ended. Frodo lay still, waiting for something to happen.
He heard Vader’s footsteps approaching his sack. “Deliver this straight to the Death Star. But on the way, I need you to drop me off somewhere called ‘Mordor’… look for a big volcano, they’re quite rare here.”
Frodo suddenly could imagine what a single mushroom left on a plate in the middle of a group of hungry little hobbits felt like.
|
|
|
Post by amavi on Jul 8, 2005 16:54:20 GMT -5
Aw dear poor ickle Frodo.. Gah I sounded icky then... I loved Han's entry...great!
|
|
Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
|
Post by Tiki on Jul 8, 2005 23:13:32 GMT -5
LOL, this is getting better and better. Yes, Han's entry was amazing and Luke reprimanding Leia...I can see it all clearly in my head. Perfect.
Still don't know who I'm rooting for. So far, my top three obsessions are already included. Now it's down to root for Star Wars or Lord of the Rings...I have been going back and forth between those fandoms ever since Fellowship came out. And I just...can't...pick...one...over...the...other!
...Sorry, sorry.
Great stuff, again. Can't wait till the next update!
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 9, 2005 9:15:48 GMT -5
Are there any other fandoms I could include? I thought about Lemony Snicket...
|
|
Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
|
Post by Tiki on Jul 9, 2005 10:18:53 GMT -5
That might work...seeing as how it came out of nowhere and took over the entertainment business...I only saw half of the movie...I was kind of sad.
Anyway, other fandoms to include *if possible*
Pirates of the Caribbean Van Helsing Chronicles of Narnia
That's all I can think of right now.
|
|
|
Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 9, 2005 15:08:33 GMT -5
POTC you could have a lot of fun with... Maybe getting Leggy and Will mixed up? (well-used, but you could play with it better than some.)
The other fandoms I don't think pose nearly as much of a threat.
|
|
|
Post by reasonably_crazy on Jul 9, 2005 15:11:25 GMT -5
Anyway, about the story... AMAZING! I'm still rooting for LOTR, but Star Wars can conquer HP all it wants.
This is getting exciting. *claps hands*
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 10, 2005 5:05:24 GMT -5
Hmmm.... Pirates of the Caribbean could be interesting... and NARNIA, definitely, with the upcoming film.
Thankies people.
|
|
Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
|
Post by Tiki on Jul 10, 2005 12:37:44 GMT -5
You know what just came to me? Book versions going up against movie versions of characters! I'm not exactly sure how you would write that, but it was an interesting thought.
|
|
|
Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 12, 2005 11:19:23 GMT -5
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... I did once have an idea for LOTR like that - where the book characters and the film characters are going side by side, and arguing over who has it tougher... but it never went anywhere.
|
|
|
Post by Oni on Jul 12, 2005 15:35:19 GMT -5
Are there any other fandoms I could include? I thought about Lemony Snicket... YES! DO SO NOW!
|
|
|
Post by amavi on Jul 12, 2005 16:13:04 GMT -5
Aw this is when I don't understand the rest of Fandom wars...
|
|
|
Post by Becky on Jul 12, 2005 16:38:51 GMT -5
Are there any other fandoms I could include? I thought about Lemony Snicket... YES! DO SO NOW! She said Lemony Snicket, oh obsessed one, not Violet specifically.
|
|