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Post by Morty on Feb 24, 2005 5:51:57 GMT -5
So we're having two at the same time...? So what? In defiance of the nasty snow, I've decided to start a story off with the theme of summer. So there. Normal Board Rules Apply. ---------------- THE WOFFLEPUDS GO TO THE BEACH It had snowed overnight. The ground was covered with a thick blanket of the white stuff. Mort and Helen both groaned. They hated snow. "We hate snow!" They complained to the rest of the Wofflepuds at breakfast.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Feb 24, 2005 12:28:14 GMT -5
"But snow's fun!" protested Katie, "We get to stay off school and make Billie-Joe snowmen!"
"You also get stuck on hills in snowstorms for several hours and invoke your mother's wrath for trying to help push a bus out of the snow," pointed out Frankie.
"That was ONE TIME!"
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Post by Paranoid Android on Feb 24, 2005 14:02:53 GMT -5
"I wanna go somewhere waaaaarm..." whinged Mort.
"But it's snowing! There IS nowhere warm!" pointed out Alex.
"I'll give a Dairy Milk to the first person who can think of somewhere warm we can go!" proclaimed Helen. Alex responded by drooling over the thought of the Dairy Milk, so was otherwise distracted from actually thinking of how to get the Dairy Milk.
"I KNOW!!!" yelled Frankie, triumphantly. "LET'S GO TO THE BEACH!!!!"
"YAY!!" yelled Mort and Helen in true twin-like perfect unison.
"W00t!" said Frankie, thrilled that she was the winner of the Dairy Milk.
"NOOOOOO!" screamed Alex, horrified that she wouldn't get the Dairy Milk.
"Tell you what, Alex..." said Frankie persuasively. "I'll give you the Dairy Milk..."
Alex started jumping up and down for joy.
"...if you be my personal slave for the day."
"HEY!" screeched Katie indignantly. "I thought I was your personal slave!"
"Yeah, well you've been skiving, so you're not a very good one. So what do you say, Alex?"
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Post by Oni on Feb 27, 2005 5:51:06 GMT -5
'You could always have two personal slaves.' said Jack, who had taken to staying over and sleeping on the couch after the Easter Bunny fiasco.
Looking around at the scenes of strangeness going on, Oni threw his two cents in. Literally; it hit Alex and got her out of the 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' mood.
'Is it down to me to be the voice of reason around here? Something's gone seriously wrong if so, but...haven't you noticed? It's snowing, and it's going to be snowing at the beach, so...SNOWBALL FIGHT!'
To which Mort jumped onto the couch (crushing poor Jack underneath him) and threw the coushin [is that how it's spelt?] at Oni. 'I don't want to...it's all cold and wet. And it hurts when you get it shoved down the back of your neck.'
Oni just looked at him. 'And?'
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Mar 2, 2005 3:58:41 GMT -5
"Look, there's a simple answer to this," sighed Katie, "We can go to the beach, AND not have snow there."
"Wha?" said Frankie, words partially obstructed by a muffin that had recently got lodged there.
"We just have to go to a beach where there's no snow. Duh," said Katie.
There was dawning comprehension all round.
"But... how are we going to get there?" said Alex.
Katie's eyes lit up, and she ran to the window. "DRAAAGOOOON!!!!" she shouted.
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Post by Boo on Mar 3, 2005 8:23:08 GMT -5
(SOMEWHERE IN READING)
Boo raised her head sharply at the unmistakeable sound of Katie's voice. Idly she watched a faint billow of smoke answering Katie's call.
"Should I see what those mad people are up to?...Why not? It's been a slow week anyhoo..."
She opened her drawer, rummaging through her Sue Repellent arsenal and brought out a flamethrower that fired out pink sparkly flames of Canon(!) death.
For convenience's sakes, the time it had taken her to run to Katie's house was thirty seconds. She arrived just in time to see Katie glomping her purple dragon.
"Hello! Where y'all going to?"
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Mar 3, 2005 11:26:32 GMT -5
"Some sunny beach somewhere!" said Katie happily, "Cos it's so snowy here..."
"OOH! CAN WE GO TO A PINK BEACH?" said Frankie excitedly.
"I don't think those exist-" began Helen, but she was quickly interrupted by everyone else.
"NO, A RAINBOW ONE!"
"ONE WITH FIRE!"
"ONE WITH MUSIC AND MUSICIANS!"
"ONE WITH LORD OF THE RINGS!"
"Lord of the Rings??" said Mort, "How can you have a beach with Lord of the Rings??"
"I 'unno," shrugged Kathryn, "But it would be cooool..."
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Rodge
Ranger
Plotting to take over the world, one Dairy Milk at a time...
Posts: 165
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Post by Rodge on Mar 3, 2005 14:12:22 GMT -5
"So." said Helen, ever the voice of reason, "We want to go to a pink and rainbow beach, with lots of fire and music and musicians and random LOTR characters? Is that right, or did i miss something??"
"Thats right!" everyone shouted
"Think you can manage that, dragon?" asked Helen. The dragon nodded and gave a small yawn as an affirmative.
"Lets go get ready then!" she said
"OK!"
"Sounds good to me!"
"The fiiiiiiire... It buuuuuurns"
"PINK! PINKPINKPINKPINKPINKPINK!!!!!!!!!!!"
These were just some of the things our brave travellers said as they danced round the room manically, collecting their stuff for the journey.
David started hastely packing all the instruments he could lay his hands on, and Alex soon followed suit. By the time they had finished, they had between them no less than 1 violin, 2 electric violins, 2 violas, 2 pianos, 4 keyboards, 2 flutes, 2 saxophones, a clarinet, 2 trombones, 2 euphoniums, 1 tuba, 1 acoustic guitar, 1 electric bass and various recorders and percussion instruments.
"You guys could sell all that lot on ebay and make loads of money" commented Katie, as she crammed in anything to do with LOTR that she could lay her hands on.
Alex and David looked shocked! Sell the instruments! Never!
"Are we ready then?" asked Frankie, who had appeared wearing just about everything pink she could find in her wardrobe.
"I think so" cackled Oni, who was only taking a lighter and a flame thrower.
"Then lets go!"
"You still owe me that dairy milk..." Alex pointed out as they left.
"Carry my bags then, slave" proclaimed Frankie, thrusting her bags at Alex.
"Ok..."
NB. David and I do actually own that many instruments between us...
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Post by Oni on Mar 6, 2005 16:30:36 GMT -5
NB: That is a lot of instruments...why'd'you have all those again?
In between stops at every single shop between here and there (there being defined as a beach with a position vector of 77329i + 98882j) for provisions - which is a very fancy word for saying 'Guitar strings, chocolate and dragon food' - the journey was like that of a regular plane, except windier and with less children.
Coincidentally, an American family had been about to get on the dragon on the last stop, the mother asking if 'this bus goes to London?'. It got into the papers in the end; 'American Family Sues Dragon'
'Anyone figured out where we're going yet?' whined Mort, playing the role of 'Are We There Yet?' kid. So far, they were flying over France, which had little signs saying 'Paris' and 'Beware of the Snails' in the appropriate place.
No-one bothered answering, least of all Kathryn, who, in the absence of actually being there, was on the phone to Cajun Country, USA, and as such, was in a state sometimes regarded as 'Daydreaming and happy', and sometimes as 'Sedated'.
In other news, the convenient appearance of Boo was the subject of an Oni conspiracy theory, and light banter from everyone
(Someone else please do the light banter; I can't, as I'm doing an essay at the same time and it would get too philosophical)
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Mar 16, 2005 7:41:49 GMT -5
"I think it's a conspiracy," declared Oni.
Everyone stared at him, except Frankie, who was sprinkling pink glitter over the side (to spread pink sparkliness through AAAALL the laaand), Mort, who was looking out for attack chickens, Kathryn, Jackie and Helen, who were talking about LOTR, Boo and Katie, who were looking out for Sues, Alex and David, who were playing instruments, and Jack, who was drinking rum and asking the dragon whether it was just another hallucination.
So... no-one was actually staring at him.
"I THINK IT'S A CONSPIRACY," he repeated more loudly.
Still no-one looked up. This was getting annoying. And so, using plot devices in a way that only people in this story can, he summoned a little fire demon to talk to.
"I think it's a conspiracy," he told the little fire demon, who, incidentally, was called Sid.
"What's a conspiracy?" asked Sid.
"Boo," said Oni, "The way she just HAPPENED to turn up at the right time..."
Sid nodded. "It's like my theory that we're all just characters in a story being written by lunatics, and all our actions are pre-ordained by them..."
Oni looked at him patronisingly. "Now that's just SILLY."
"Well, what's YOUR theory?"
"......."
"You don't have one, do you?"
"If I knew what it WAS, it wouldn't be a CONSPIRACY, would it?" said Oni defensively.
"LOOKIT THE PRETTY BEACH!!!" said Frankie, starting to hyperventilate as the pink shores came into view. This time no-one looked up, except for Kathryn, Jackie, Katie, Boo, Mort, Helen, Alex, David, Jack, Oni and Sid.
So... everyone did. And they all gasped, for it was most marvy. Half the sand was pink, and half rainbow coloured. Dotted here and there were bands playing, including Greenday, and there were plugs and amplifiers for all the musical instruments. Also, there were several large bonfires, which would explode at random intervals, and various fairground rides. Much to Katie's explosive hyperness, the characters of Lord of the Rings could be seen walking around the beach. And finally... there was a whippy mountain, twice as big as the one in Ice-Cream Land.
There was silence as they all stared at the wondermentness of the beach. And silence. And silence.
"WHY HAVE WE NOT HEARD OF THIS BEACH BEFORE??????????" screeched Katie, "DOWN DOWN DOWN!!!!"
"JUST DROP ME ON WHIPPY MOUNTAIN!!!!!!" screamed Frankie. The dragon complied, sweeping down towards Whippy Mountain. With an ecstatic squeal, Frankie leapt off, and was immediately swallowed by the ice-cream.
As the dragon landed, everyone tumbled off and stared around in wonder. There was silence again, as everyone tried to figure out where to go first.
"TREE!!!!" cried David, breaking the silence, and running off down the beach with his arms outstretched - and indeed, a little way down, was the ice-cream tree he had met in Ic-Cream Land, and never forgotten.
"FIIIIRE!" said Oni, running off towards the largest and nearest bonfire.
"BILLIE-JOOOE!" shouted Frankie from the top of Whippy Mountain the 2nd, and started dithering over which of her passions to go and glomp.
Katie said nothing, but was already sprinting up the beach towards the bouncy castle, where the hobbits already were.#nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys
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Post by Boo on Mar 17, 2005 4:21:05 GMT -5
*gasp*
"HOBBITS!!!!!" came a shriek from the unlikeliest of sources. The four aforementioned little ones looked up and saw Boo and Katie charging towards them.
"SQUEENESS! HUGGIES!" they squealed. The Hobbits looked at each other and dodged out of the way, so that the two girls fell on the bouncy castle. Due to their momentum they started to bounce up and down at an alarming rate.
(Sorry it's so short.....my creative juices have run dry -_-)
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Mar 17, 2005 8:52:01 GMT -5
"YAAY! BOUNCIES!!!!" cheered Katie, and started leaping up and down as hard as she could.
Boo noticed the hobbits' face. "Katie... I think they think we're fangirls."
"Oh," said Katie, trying to sit down suddenly with the *thump*, but failing and springing up into the air again. "Uhh - don't worry," she called from about six feet in the air, "We're against all that! Look! PPC identification!" She flashed her badge, and Boo quickly pulled out hers as well.
"Oh... all right," said the hobbits, and jumped onto the bouncy castle as well.
Frankie meanwhile had finally made a decision, and had rolled around in whippy mountain so that she was sufficiently covered in the whippyness, then run out across the beach, grabbed Billie-Joe, and dragged him back to Whippy Mountain with her.
Oni, Sid and Alex (because David was still hugging the tree and occasionally licking his arms when some of the ice-cream melted onto them) were busy watching the bonfires, and ooooohing whenever they exploded. They then noticed a pile of fireworks next to them, and merrily whiled away the time by throwing them on and watching them explode.
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Post by Boo on Mar 17, 2005 9:58:17 GMT -5
But let us put aside this very happy (albeit randomly insane) scene and let us trot post haste to a secret location somewhere in the clouds. For what is a Wofflepud adventure without a bad guy for them to drive mad?
"Stupid kids.....stupid WARMTH," muttered a fairly ugly blue troll-like creature, watching Boo anime facefall when she realized that somehow, Queen circa 1974 were playing on the horridly WARM beach (to which she tackled Brian May and dragged him to what was left of Whippy Mountain).
And so it was that Jack Frost, that bitter old imp and herald of winter most biting, hatched an evil scheme. One more evil than that dark knight, Sir Evil Knievil, what brought about the Evil Alliance of Evil Black Knights that invaded Camelot evilly and killed off the populace with copies of She We Do Not Speak Of's new album.
Which is pu-reety damn evil.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Apr 2, 2005 15:15:57 GMT -5
Jack Frost was in fact pretty proud of his evil plan. He could have just gripped the beach in a hundred year winter - he had got great reviews for his one in Narnia - but as the beach was in fact The Perfectest Damn Beach in the World, this would have just made one massive parasol spring up, and no-one would have noticed.
So instead, he covered all the surrounding hillsides with snow... so much snow that it soon dislodged, and slid down the hillsides towards the unknowing Beach Crazies.
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morty not signed in
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Post by morty not signed in on Apr 4, 2005 6:34:07 GMT -5
really sorry i've been away so long...
***
David was still licking the tree when something large, white and moving towards them caught his eye.
He gasped and his eyes started shining.
'...an avalanche of ice-cream?! Have all my dreams come true?'
The tree said nothing, rather indignantly. David turned round and patted the trunk absently.
'There, there,' he said. 'When I'm through with the avalanche, I'll still be yours forever...'
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