The Wofflepuds Go To The Beach

[Boo]

Whippy Mountain was fast becoming Whippy Slush, as both Boo and Frankie were scarfing it all down. On the side and watching them with awe were a tied up Brian May and Billie Joe Armstrong.

"Um....hi," Billie said to Brian. "Any idea why we were on a rainbow beach filled with crazy hyper kids and short people?"

"No idea mate....would like some of that ice cream though...."

"What's left of it anyway."

Meantime, Frankie and Boo had devoured enough whippy to....well, let's just say if electricity was replaced by sugar, the two girls would be able to power up the entire Western World for ten years running.

"Oh Whippy, thou art splendiferous!" Frankie squealed before doing a perfect swan dive into the pile. A split second later she came up spluttering.

"IT TASTES LIKE WATER AT THE BOTTOM!!!"

"Umm.....I think that's why it does," said Billie Joe, indicating the big avalanche hurtling towards them.

[Boo]

NB: I'm just gonna write this next one, if'n that's fine

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!" screamed Katie as she bounced once more into the air.

Ah yes, the beach was filled with the happy sounds of Wofflepud happiness.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH! FIIIIIIIIIIREWORKS!!"

"WHIPPY! BILLIE JOE!!"

"WHIPPY! BRIAN MAY!!!!!!!!"

And a split second later....

"COWABUNGA!!!"

"Eh?" questioned Alex. "Cowabunga? Since when does anyone here say cowabunga?"

"Outta my way!" came David's voice somewhere behind and above them. All activity stopped as aforementioned boy came riding out of the chocolate trees on a makeshift piece of wood.

Behind him was a white wave that loomed up and up, then hit the glass ceiling, made an "Owie!" then loomed down again, but just enough so it looked marginally threatening. From the other side of the beach came two more whoops of California beach bum words, as Boo and Frankie came sliding down a mixture of Whippy and snow. They had nobly volunteered to be sleighs, so that they could eat what was left of Whippy Slush, and so Brian and Billie Joe wouldn't get lost.

"....Bugger," Katie said as she bounced off the castle.

"WE DIDN'T WANT ANY SNOW! THE FIRE! NOOOO!" This came from Oni, due to the fact that the snow had covered four inches of the ground, blocking out the pretty colours and all the fire and fireworks.

"What do we do?!" asked Helen, gathering up instruments by the handful.

"We take what we can, and give nothing back, lass!" Jack sprang up and started gathering all his rum and hoisting them in plot convenience crates, courtesy of the Plot Convenience company.

"....Alternatively we could just ask Gandalf what to do," said Alex, sliding into her role of the voice of reason. And said wizard came running up, eyes darting to and fro for Frodo.

[Ashley]

Ashley, David Wenham and Sean Sean ran onto the beach randomly.

"Hi guys!" yelled Ashley cheerfully, as she was in the presence of her favorite two people in the entire universe.

"Hi!" Boo answered. "Glad you're here!"

"I'm not staying!" Ashley said happily. She gestured to Sean and David. "Just thought that I'd pop in randomly."

A/N: Sorry ;D Just want to randomly jump into things.

[Oni]

You get them, and I don't get Natalie, Emily or Zooey? CURSES!

~~~

True to form, Gandalf came running up. I say running, but at his age, he's lucky if he can manage the steps without needing a Zimmer frame. So, trundle up he did, ready to spout some wizardly wisdom.

'OK, Mr. I'll-Appear-On-Coronation-Street,' shouted Jack, 'FESS UP! WHO DID THIS?!'

Gandalf was fazed. In fact, with merely a flick of his hair (apparently guys can do that as well), he sent Jack flying off on a tornado.

'I love magic, me. Now, what's the problem?' asked the oldest guy in the book. Katie, nearly foaming at the mouth as she was at the prospect of meeting a real, live LotR character, was completely disabled, so in stepped Alex.

'It was all nice and beachy a minute ago then it turned all snowy and cold and I DON'T LIKE IT!.'

Hey, I never said she'd be coherent.

[Nfinity]

Suddenly, muffled shouts were heard as two of the Hobbits were hurled into the snow by what was apparently a snowman with a slightly girlish figure.

"Merry! Pippin!" Squealed Stacey. Then she remembered her manners and helped them up, brushing snow from her face. "Hello, everyone," she said slightly nervous that everyone was staring at her. "I...uh... got caught in the snow on my way down here... heh.. sorry." She helped Merry and Pippin brush off the snow then joined everyone else.

"Umm.. has anyone seen Ashley lately?" She asked. Katie nodded.

"She was here a little bit ago with David and Sean." Stacey sighed and frowned.

"She's kidnapped them again... this time the police are after her....*pause* what are you guys doing here anyway?"

[Ashley]

Katie's explanation to Stacey's question was soon cut short, however, by Ashley running back in screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Ashley.

"My God, woman, what's wrong with you!" Stacey shouted over her screams.

"The Police are after me!" she said breathlessly.

"WE KNOW," said all of the Wofflepuds in unison.

"No," breathed Ashley. "The BAND of The Police. They've reunited and come to take me away!"

[Nfinity]

"Here, quick, hide in the snow," Stacey said, pushing her in and covering her up. Everyone tried to look nonchalant as the Police ran by, accidentally trampling Ashley in the process.

She came up spluttering and glared at Stacey.

"What?" Stacey asked innocently. Ashley pulled up a big glob of snow and hurled it at Stacey, who ducked, and the snowball hit Katie square in the back of the head. She turned and glared at Stacey who pointed at Ashley, who was walking away. Katie took a big snowball and threw it at her and missed, hitting Gandalf in the stomach.

"Snowball fight!" Oni yelled, as he began hurling missiles at people.

[Oni]

Ever the opportunist, Oni instigated the snowball throwing, then while everyone was occupied, sneaked away to locate Emily.

The Police, on the other hand, weren't having any luck in finding the Sean-and-David-capturer, being more human targets. The conversations usually ran along the lines of 'Hey, could you-*splat*' or just '*splat*'

[Nfinity]

Meanwhile, Ashley, who had successfully beaned Boo with a Frozen Iceball of Doom, was being advanced upon by cold, wet, and utterly exhausted Wofflepuds. They raised their fists, each equipped with uber-large snowballs edged with dull razor blades (via Stacey and her ever-useful and aptly named Bag of Mischief), ready to attack when a fresh wave of snow fell from the mountain and covered them all in a second cold spell.

[Ashley]

Knowing that she was in a tight spot, Ashley began walking backwards.

"Hey...no violence necessary," Ashley crooned. Oni momentarily stopped his search.

"Yes, it is actually," he instigated. He returned to his Emily search.

Not watching where she was going because she was A) glaring at Oni and, B) she was walking backwards, she walked right into the Police.

"DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME!" They sang out in unison. Ashley took off running.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME FREEDOM!!!" She shouted over her shoulder.

[Nfinity]

Katie, who was wiping sopping snow off of her, noticed something glimmering in the distance and it drove her, and eventually the other Woffle-Puds, to distraction. As the glimmer got closer, Katie's eyes bugged out and she tried to contain a squeal as a figure came into view.

"It's-it's-it's-- ARAGORN!" Everyone turned to look, including Stacey (Who was trying to poke Ashley in the face with a large pointy-ended stick without being caught) and the Police (who were arguing with each other about who would get close enough to Ashley to put her in their pink handcuffs that they had stolen from Frankie). Suddenly, a blondish-brown and blue blur went past, racing at the speed of light towards the wayward King of Gondor, the one they call Elfstone, Elessar Telcontar, Estel, Throngil, and Kingy-wingy-poo.

"TAVA! NO!" Stacey screamed, but it was too late. Tava had glomped Aragorn to death. The Wofflepuds collectively ran to the aid of the stricken Son of Arathorn but, alas, Longshanks was gone forever. No one would ever utter the name Strider again. The Adopted-Son-of-Elrond, that age-d Tamer of Brego, the Wielder of the Flame of the West, was no more.

Everyone, including the Police, bowed their heads in sorrow for the fallen "brother, captain and King." Katie turned to the Police.

"Arrest her!" she said, tears in her eyes as she pointed an accusatory finger at Tava. Tava sputtered, eyes wide.

"Uh, sorry, we don't actually do stuff the real police do," said one guy from the Police with a shrug.

"Okay then," Frankie input. "We shall have to burn her."

I had to fix it. The school computer was being cantankerous yesterday.

[Ashley]

"Poor Strider," said Ashley, not out of sadness for the Rump Ranger, but more to contradict Stacey's last sentence.

[Hobbit-eyes]

Katie, meanwhile, was suddenly visited by the keep-plot-on-course fairy.

"Katie, isn't this story supposed to be about Jack Frost being out to get you?" it said in a tinkly voice.

"Hahahaha."

"What?"

"Your voice is weird. Which I find comical. So I laugh. Like so. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. See?"

The fairy blinked. "But seriously... it is thine duty as the Almighty Admin to step in and have this story resemble a plot in some shape or form."

"It IS," whined Katie, "The plot of us turning steadily stranger."

"That's not good enough. DO SOMETHING."

"Oh, all right," sighed Katie, and went and obligingly ran into the sea. She stood still for a moment, and then started splashing up and down, shouting very unenthusiastically, "Help. Shark. Someone save me from this terrible shark."

"Dolphin?" said Frankie, distracted from Whippy Mountain for an entire millisecond.

"No, shark. Sorry."

"Damn." Frankie vanished into the Whippy with Billie Joe once more.

Meanwhile, everyone had stopped their various glomping and attacking and fleeing and singing to watch Katie's very bad portrayal of a shark attack.

"This makes little sense," observed Katie, "If my acting is so good that you think it worthy of watching, then why do you not believe it is true and try to save me? But if it is not good, why do you watch?"

Everyone stared.

"My butt is cold," moaned Alex after about three minutes, and got to her feet, and started jumping around trying to warm it up again.

It was at that very moment that the Death Star appeared.

[Nfinity]

"OH MY GOD!" Tava's exultant shrieks startled everyone out of their stupor. "It's--the Death Star," she whispered reverently. Ashley rolled her eyes and Stacey sniggered.

"You just pulled a Legolas," Ashley said. Just then Legolas walked by.

"Did I hear my name with my incredibly super-strong-hearing-that's-so-good-that-I'm-able-to-hear-your-inner-thoughts?"

Stacey's eyes widened and a maniacal look came into her eyes. Before anyone could stop her, she killed Legolas and used his carcass to make a landing marker for the Death Star, which turned out to be a miniature version of the originals.

[Ashley]

Ashley ignored the fact that the Death Star had landed on the not-so-nancing now corpse of every Mary-
Sue's favorite lust object. She was too busy watching as Katie pretended to be eaten by a shark.

To Katie's dismay, an actual shark came and began to circle around her underwater. Everyone had abandoned watching her for the Death Star, and Ashley was the only one left to watch.

"Haha! Wow Katie! You're a bad actress!" Ashley yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!" screamed Katie, "There's really a shark!"

"Yeah right!" yelled Ashley, fully unaware that there was, in actuality, a shark circling menacingly around Katie.

"Help! Ashley! There's really a shark!"

"Sure there is," Ashley said. And as a joke, she threw in some dead fish around where Katie was swimming.