Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Nov 30, 2005 8:53:30 GMT -5
On board the Sneak's shuttle, Ashley's blunt question stunned the Sneak momentarily.
"Say wha?" she was able to get out, finally.
Ashley rolled her eyes and sighed. "The song, 'All By Myself', why did you start singing it?"
"Good question, Ash," injected a smirking Stacey, who soon lost interest in the stars zooming by. Gio just looked slightly bored.
"Um...I was singing that song? Woops...Must've just slipped out..." The Sneak shifted her eyes and gulped, hoping no one would notice her nervousness.
Of course, when you don't want someone to notice something, naturally, that's the first thing they notice.
"Guilty conscious?" asked Stacey, nearly shaking with mirth.
A bead of sweat formed on the Sneak's brow and grew in area until it threatened to stream down her face. "Er...I feel like Stacey, I'm starving too. What say you to looking in the rations storage in this here shuttle--?"
"You really do have a guilty conscious!" Ashley was positively ecstatic with the chance to humiliate the Sneak and Stacey was happy that she wasn't in that situation for once. "Come on, just tell us why you sang it?"
"Can I plead the Fifth?" the Sneak squeaked out.
"Nope," returned Stacey, a grin growing on her face. "We're not in America anymore, the Constitution doesn't count out here."
"Then can I claim creative license?"
"Huh?" Stacey, Ashley, and Gio asked. This was an odd request.
The Sneak twirled some of her black hair around her finger while looking anywhere but at her three companions. "Yeah, creative license, usually you see it in fanfic, but I think this is an exception..."
"Get on with it!"
"Sorry. Um, well, recently I've become slightly infatuated with one Robert Pattinson...and when I end up thinking about random hott actors, I can't take blame for my actions."
"Robert Pattinson?" Stacey asked.
"Cedric Diggory," the Sneak answered.
"EEWW, you love a dead guy?" Ashley looked revolted. "That's kind of nasty."
"No! Robert is the actor, Cedric is the character! And besides, you lust after Graham Chapman and he's a bit on the dead side of life."
This last bit took some time for everyone's mind to mull over, but after hurting their brains more than usual, they all gave up. "You love Graham, too," Stacey said quietly.
"Oh crap." The Sneak looked at Ashley with fear. They all knew that if Ashley's lust objects were taken from her or shared by other people, then there would be much violence. Now was not a good time for the Sneak. "Oh crap," she reiterated.
Soon enough, Ashley had shoved the Sneak to the nearest wall (or, in this case, the window of the cockpit) and was pointing The Gospel According to Luke at her head. "Don't make me destroy you."
That did it. The Sneak started giggling. Ashley looked at Stacey who merely shrugged, then at Gio who was eating a ration of carrots and veggie dip.
"What are you laughing at?!" Ashley cocked the revolver, looking as if she had every intention of killing the Sneak.
"Sorry," she said, still trying to contain her laughter. "It's just that you quoted Star Wars...even though that's one of the things you absolutely loathe." She giggled uncontrollably.
And then Ashley let rip a scream that would make even the Ringwraiths look like fuzzy little kittens. It was a good thing that in space no one can hear you scream, because the nearby solar systems would probably end up deaf from pole to pole, but the people inside the Sneak's shuttle weren't so lucky.
"Ow," complained Stacey, Gio, and the Sneak, who had somehow ended up behind the cockpit chair. Ashley looked incredibly frightened of what she had said before the Deafening Silent Screech of DOOM had occurred.
"...Sorry," she apologized in a small voice a few seconds later.
Gio continued eating the veggies and veggie dip, but pointed out something nonetheless. "You never did explain the creative license, Sneak."
"Had I not?" she answered. "Oh, well...um...I'm just going to say this real quick. Usually, I have five voices in my head, but for once, they all left me alone and I was, ahem, all by myself."
"That still has nothing to do with Robert-Cedric," said Stacey.
"Oh no..."
"Hey, I think I see Magrathea!" Gio pointed out the cockpit window.
"Green Day, Green Day, Green Day..."
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Post by gio on Nov 30, 2005 9:02:06 GMT -5
Gio suddenly looked down and noticed that he had indeed been eating veggies. 'i thought these tasted funny. you told me they were sweets!... ooh greenday..' Looking at the que in holding orbit around the planet a thought came to him 'we do have tickets, right?'
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Post by Ashley on Nov 30, 2005 17:43:22 GMT -5
Ashley sat in a stunned silence. "Damn."
"I take it that that's a no," responded Gio.
"Of course it means no!" said Ashley, who was taking out her sudden irritation. "Why would I say 'damn' if we DID have tickets?"
Gio stared at her blankly. "No need to get testy." Stacey giggled.
"Heh heh...testy..."
"I don't get it," said the Sneak.
"Give it time," said Ashley. "Let your American mind take over." A few seconds later, the Sneak giggled.
"Oh, I get it," she said.
"I'm sorry Gio," apologized Ashley, giving him a hug, "I was just momentarily panicing at the though that I would not get to see my Billie and Tre. But I have a plan."
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Dec 12, 2005 15:05:42 GMT -5
Meanwhile. back on the Really Long Acronym Star.... the intrepid crew were still being lead through the corridors to the Detention Centre.
"Isn't there a monorail or something?" grumbled Katie, whose feet were starting to hurt.
The Sues giggled their high-pitched like-running-streams-and-tinkling-bells laughs. Everyone shivered. "Pitiful characters!" said one of them, "Without the elvish skills of being able to keep walking for days!"
"Or a Jedi's skills of drawing strength from the Force!" tittered another.
"Which would be better?" asked Jackie suddenly.
The Sue guards stopped and stared. "Huh?"
"Well, would it be better to be an elf or a Jedi?" asked Jackie slowly, "You two would know..."
"That's easy, an elf!" said the elf...
... and the exact same moment as the Jedi said, "Jedi, no question!"
The two Sues glared at each other.
"Ooooooo," said Alex, "This could be interesting."
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Post by goblingirl on Dec 12, 2005 17:29:20 GMT -5
In the hull of the Millennium Falcon, a small metal cupboard was rocking back and forth. The door was straining, and rather bad language came from the cramped being inside. Suddenly, with a worrying CRACK, the door burst open, and Thea tumbled out, clutching the photos of Gee and Billie.
Upstairs, two SueTroopers were preparing to leave, after downloading a SueVirius onto Doris. One turned to the other, "Did you hear something?"
"Yeah, but it was probably nothing."
"No, we'd better look. The Head Sues'll kill us if we've left one of them."
"Oh, alright. But we can't be long."
Meanwhile, Thea stood, and brushed herself off. After tucking the pictures lovingly into her pocket, she glanced around the room.
A large, wooden wardrobe had appeared in the corner of the room, and she groaned at the manifestation of yet another plot hole.
Thea went to open the door, and stuck her head out, only managing to whip it back in seconds before the SueTroopers turned the corner. Breathing heavily, she stared desperately around the room, hoping for something other than the wardrobe to be there. The small cupboard she had hidden in before was cracked and twisted, and there was nothing else in sight.
Cursing plot holes, she wrenched open the door, scrambled inside, and pulled the door to.
The SueTroopers entered the room, their eyes falling instantly on the warped cupboard.
“Something must have been in there.”
“It also got out. Let’s go, there’s nothing here now.”
“No, wait a moment. That’s the wardrobe from Narnia!”
Thea stifled a cry of despair. Ignoring the pine branches brushing her back, she fell to the floor and began searching for something to help her. Suddenly, Thea’s cold fingers closed around a thin band of metal. She frowned, and held it up to the light.
Just as the door was pulled open by the pair of Sues, she had put the coronet on her head, and struck a suitably regal pose.
The two Sues gasped. “I am Lady Alethealightofthemorn, Princess of the Islands over the Sea. I was sent by my Father to be the bride of King Edmund, but fell in loff with the High King Peter instead. Edmund loffd me too, and a great war ensued, ending by Aslan declaring that Edmund had no claim on me, and married Peter and I together. Yesterday I received word of the scheme to topple the fanverses, and I have come to offer my aid. My army,” here Thea faltered, “My army is coming soon, we’re just having a little trouble finding a plot hole big enough.” It was quite pitiful, thought Thea, and they aren’t going to fall for it for long, but it might buy me some time.
It did. The SueTroopers were gasping in amazement. “But, my Lady, why are you wearing jeans?”
“Jeans are invented in Narnia, and they are much better to ride in than skirts.” Oh, forgive me, forgive me C. S. Lewis, it’s all for the best. “Now, take me to the Really Long Acro-The Death Star.”
*
“So, how do you think Thea’s doing Katie?” whispered Jackie.
Katie murmered back, “I’m sure she’s doing fine.”
“Quiet you!” snarled a human Mary-sue, who was keeping out of the Jedi vs Elf debate.
Jackie pulled a face at the SueTrooper’s back, and plodded on.
Here I cannot go on, as I’m tired, but I apologise for the entirely self-centred chapter. Sorry.
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Post by Ashley on Dec 21, 2005 11:32:54 GMT -5
"Excuse me, pardon me, coming through," screamed Ashley at the top of her lungs. Gio, the Sneak, Ashley and Stacey marched up through the ridiculously long line waiting to get in to see Green Day.
"THIS is your plan?" asked Gio. Ashley shrugged.
"I never said it was a good plan, I just said I had an idea," she nodded. "And yes, pretty much."
"We're going to get killed," muttered Stacey, looking around at all of the Emo-Goths glaring. They finally made it up to the gate.
"Tickets," said a huge security guard, holding out a hand bigger than Ashley's head.
"You see, we don't have tickets but--"
"Then no admittance," the security guard cut her off at the pass.
"--it's very important that we get in there because--"
"No tickets, no entry, no Green Day. Now go away."
"--the lives of Billie, Tre` and Mike depend on it."
"What?" the guard queried.
"Well, yes," Ashley said. The Sneak nodded emphatically. "You see, we have a situation on our hands to where the Mary-Sues could inevitably cause the universe to cave in and Green Day to be plot-smushed."
"So, let me get this straight," said the guard. "You're telling me that if you don't get in, Green Day is going to die."
"Per say..." intervened Gio. "More like blinked out of existence."
"Riiiiight," nodded the guard. "So, if this is all important and all, you'd have tickets."
"Not exactly," stuttered Stacey, looking at the size of the arms on this guy.
"I think you should just go," said the guard, whose nostrils were starting to flare. At that moment, Tre`Cool came up beside the guard, causing Ashley to nearly pass out.
"What's going on?" asked Tre`.
"These punks are trying to get in without tickets," said the guard.
"But only in order to save your life," squeaked Stacey. She looked at Ashley, who almost appeared to have changed into a statue. Gio was currently prodding her in the face.
"Save our lives?" asked Tre`. "Well, that's good enough for me. Go ahead and let them in, Peaches."
"Fine," grumbled the guard. Only when Tre` walked off did Ashley move.
"Wonderful job, Ashley," Stacey teased. "Truly brilliant, leaving me to do all the talking. I can't believe you blanked out like that, especially in front of the loff of your life."
"I'm sorry, I went momentarily deaf in that ear and missed all of what you just said," said Ashley, whose mind was now back to saving Green Day--well, more on seeing Green Day in concert.
Suddenly, The Sneak busted out laughing. "That's guy's name was Peaches."
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Dec 27, 2005 11:58:47 GMT -5
*Just dropping in to say that you really know me too well, Ash...I was already laughing about "Peaches" before I had even read the last line...woot!*
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Post by goblingirl on Feb 22, 2006 9:01:38 GMT -5
Trying to kickstart this again
On the Really Long Acronym Star, Frankie and the others had finally reached their destination. On the way, the Jedi vs Elf debate had raged continually, and the two factions were only silenced by the sight of the entrance to the Detention Centre looming ahead of them, where two Wookie Mary-sues (“What the-“ said Jackie. “I know.” moaned Katie. The others just stared in bewilderment) stood, holding rather large guns and looking irritated. “What took you so long?” one snapped, (“IT CAN TALK ENGLISH!!” growled Katie. Alex patted her on the arm.)
“We, uh, well, they confused us with-“
“Never mind,” the other guard snapped. “Just get them into separate cells, will you? And take Anakin and Obi-Wan to the Council of Mary-sues.”
Our plucky group of clever and witty heroines were poked, prodded, and jabbed with sharp things as the SueTroopers ushered them into different cells, and watched Anakin and Obi-Wan be dragged away, being fawned over quite nauseatingly.
Luckily, their cells were made entirely out of iron bars, set quite closely together in a box against the wall, so in adjacent cells people could talk to each other.
Even more luckily, once all the cells were locked, and the keys taken away, the guards went away. Frankie flew to the brick wall (“Why are there brick walls.....in a Death Star, which is made up of highly advanced technology?” mused Jackie) and began tapping, partially because there might be a weak spot, but mainly because they were all covered in pink glitter. (“Again, why?” asked Jackie”)
Katie sat heavily down on her chair, and said, “Well, now we’ve just got to wait for Thea.”
*
Thea had been seduced. As soon as they had reached the Really Long Acronym Star, she had demanded to see any prisoners there. The Mary-sues seemed happy to allow her to visit them, but first they insisted she change into something more....regal. “After all, jeans, scruffy ankle boots and a black T-shirt that is far too big for you aren’t very suitable for a Queen of Narnia, are they?” ((Ha! Ha! I got a Stepford Wife type comment in! Ha!))
Thea had glared ferociously at this, and felt an urge to crouch down and hug her beloffed boots. But sadly, she had allowed herself to be taken to an enormous wardrobe, not filled with a fantasy country, but with lots and lots of Mary-sue clothes. It was divided into sections, with Extra-Revealing Clothes Dep. and Goth Clothes Dep. and Casual but Sexy Clothes Dep. and countless others that Thea caught sight of on her way to the Fantasy Dress and Regal Robes Dep. Once there, she was assailed with rows and rows of beautiful dresses, gorgeous shoes, silk scarfs, fine woollen cloaks, and, as the sign said, very Regal Robes.
“Is it to your liking Highness?” asked the Mary-sue who had escorted her there.
Thea made a sound between and sob and a moan.
“I’ll just leave you here then, while you chose. In about half and hour, someone will come back and help you dress, and then we’ll take you to the prisoners.”
Thea nodded helplessly. As the door shut behind the Mary-sue, she went forward and was enveloped by silks, satins, velvets, wools, and occasionally, to her disgust, nylon and zips.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 7, 2006 6:00:54 GMT -5
Also trying to kickstart this... Quick recap: Onakin and Padme have been captured by Mary-Sues on the Really Long Acronym Star. Most of us have gone to rescue them - but got captured in the process. We need to get the plot of episode 3 back on course before the entire fabric of the plot is ripped apart, allowing every Mary-Sue access to the Fanverse.
Meanwhile, Thea is disguised as a Sue to try to rescue us - and Ashley, Gio, the Sneak and Stacey have gone to Magrathea to see Green Day and persuade all the emo goths to help them attack the Death Star.
The group of heroes waited patiently in the various cells while waiting for Thea to come and rescue them. After a while, they waited a bit less patiently.
"WHEEEERE'S THEEEAAA??" demanded Frankie.
"I'm sure she's coming!" said Katie, "Just, you know... be patient."
Frankie blinked confusedly.
"That thing where you wait quietly and calmly instead of whining constantly."
"But where's the fun in that?..."
Katie was prevented from having to think of an answer to this by the entry of Thea, flanked by Mary-Sues, into the Detention Area. To their utmost horror and revulsion (horevulsion?), she was wearing a bright pink puffy dress and a sparkly purple tiara. And had wings.
"SHE'S ONE OF THEM!!!" wailed Frankie.
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Post by goblingirl on Jul 7, 2006 15:07:16 GMT -5
*weep*
Flicking a piece of dust off her wing, Thea turned cooly to view the prisoners.
"What should we do to them?" asked a Sue to her left.
"Leave us," said Thea, in a cold voice. " I wish to talk with them."
"But.." began a Mary-sue, who was speared with a Death Glare from the fake princess.
"I said leave us!"
One Sue stared at her, but, seemingly satisfied, she nodded, and led the Sues from the room.
Thea turned back to the heroines, a smiled.
"THEA!" shouted Frankie. "What are you wearing?!"
Thea didn't reply, but turned, and walked towards a set of levers on the wall.
"Quick, pull the release..thing...and get us out! Who knows what they could be doing to the others!"
Once again, they were ignored. Thea looked at the levers, considering which to activate.
"What are you waiting for-WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS RANDOM IS THAT IN YOUR EAR?!?" began, then yelled Katie.
(Forgive me. But I had to do it)
They all stared at Thea's ear as she comtemplated the levers.
"It's.....it's an Earpod...." said Katie, finally.
"A what?" asked Jackie.
But at that moment, Thea chose. She grabbed the largest lever, and pulled down with all her might. Turning to face the prisoners, she said again in that cool voice, "We cannot risk your escaping. The Ultimate Plan must not be endangered. Goodbye."
"THHEEAA! What are you TALKING about?" screeched Frankie.
Thea looked blankly at Frankie, then gestured upwards.
They all looked up, to see the most unoriginal of deaths, a lowering ceiling.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 7, 2006 17:09:39 GMT -5
"I don't believe this," said Katie flatly, looking up at the ceiling, "I'm about to be killed by a cliche."
Frankie, meanwhile, frowned. "Call that a descending ceiling o' doom??? Why not fork out on some spikes? Would that kill you?"
Thea, however, ignored them and swept out of the room.
"Hey!" yelled Frankie after her, "I DEMAND SPIKES!!"
"Seriously," Katie was muttering, "Of all the deaths. I wanted something original, like - like being nibbled to death by zombie hamsters. Or thrown off a cliff zipped into an inflatable pineapple. But no. Squashed by a slowly descending cliche. Fan-diddly-tastic."
Jackie, however, was frowning. "Someone must have installed this after seeing it in all those films, BECAUSE it was a cliche... and if it's a cliche... there must be an absurdly simple way to escape!" When everyone stared at her blankly, she said "There's only really one company that make these descending ceilings - it's not a huge market - and they all use the same design... with that massive 'ON/OFF' lever mounted on the wall within almost easy reaching distance of the cell!"
And indeed, there was the 'ON/OFF' lever. Clearly labelled.
"But..." said Frankie, "You said ALMOST easy reaching distance."
"Ah," said Jackie, "Yes. Well, obviously we won't be able to reach it with our bare hands - we need some kind of plot device which we received earlier but didn't think anything of, and ignored, until now, when we can produce it triumphantly and say, 'Ah-HA!'"
Everyone searched their pockets. "Nope," said Frankie, "Got nothing."
"Me neither," shrugged Katie.
Jackie looked around uneasily, and was met with a chorus of head-shaking. "Well," she observed, "that's not good."
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Post by goblingirl on Jul 9, 2006 12:18:21 GMT -5
"Oh, hang on!" said Katie. "Frankie, didn't you have some eyeliner earlier? You were making Anakin look like Captain Jack Sparrow with it."
"Yeeeeeees...." said Frankie. "But I left it behind when we were captured."
The ceiling was now almost touching their heads.
"You CAN'T have done," insisted Jackie. "That's got to be the Plot Point that saves us, the Deus Ex Machina"
"Well, sorry. I haven't got it," replied Frankie tetchily, sitting down to avoid the ceiling.
"I REFUSE TO BE KILLED BY A CLICHE!" shrieked Katie. "I'm going to KILL Thea when we get out of this."
Suddenly, the door slammed open. "Hey guys!" said Onakin.
"Yaay!" yelled Frankie. "He's not dead!"
"Well, no," he said, tugging the ON/OFF lever to the OFF position. The ceiling began to rise again.
"Saved by a cliche, from a cliche" muttered Katie. "Now get us out. And how did you escape?"
"A series of startling and fortune coincidences" said Onakin. "And how, exactly, do I get you out?"
"You mean you don't have a key?!" asked Jackie. "What kind of deus ex machina ARE you?"
He shrugged.
Alex said something, after not having been mentioned for a while. "Quick, Thea should have the key. Go and steal it off her."
"Thea?"
"Girl in a hideous pink dress and ugly tiara. She should be somewhere close. Now go!"
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 10, 2006 6:15:12 GMT -5
"Wait!" yelled Katie as Onakin turned to leave, "If you're going to be a cliche, you may as well go the whole way. Then the almighty Gods of Unoriginal Screenwriting can protect you."
With that, she threw him her iPod. "Go to the Action Hero playlist," she advised.
So, a minute or so later, Onakin crept out, the Mission Impossible theme playing at full blast.
"Won't that ATTRACT the Sues' attention?" said Alex.
"No," said Katie, "It makes them also succumb to the rules of Unoriginal Screenwriting - it means he can walk right through them and they won't notice, because he's the HeroTM and they are the Unsuspecting CroniesTM. It also means that he'll be able to get straight to the Evil VillainTM."
"That is, Thea?"
Katie hesitated. "Ah."
"What?"
"Thea isn't responsible for all this... she's only been brainwashed/ hypnotized/ some other convenient plot device. So...."
Jackie cut in for dramatic effect. "... Onakin's not heading for Thea... but for the real Evil VillainTM, the one who's behind all this?"
Everyone stared at each other.
"Right, we need another way out," said Katie briskly.
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Post by Ashley on Jul 31, 2006 10:54:37 GMT -5
The Sneak, Stacey, and Gio all followed Ashley as she none too politely muscled her way to the front of the pit. All of the Emo-Goths were glaring at them by the time they got to the very front, but Ashley was oblivious. She was too bust staring up at the stage, waiting patiently, as a crowd encircled them. The Sneak, Gio, and Stacey however, were quite aware that they were about to get pummeled.
"Uh, Ashley," Stacey said, tugging on her shirt sleeve. Ashley just smacked her arm away and kept staring at the stage.
"Ashley..." the Sneak tried. Her efforts were unfruitful.
"HEY LOOK ASHLEY IT'S TRE!" Gio shouted. Ashley whipped around quickly.
"WHERE?!?!" she exclaimed. Instead of Tre, however, she was greeted by about trhity glowering faces. "Oh...uh..."
"What do you think you're doing?" one of the Emo-Goths asked. Ashley scratched her head.
"Umm...well," she stammered for a moment, "we had to get to the front in order to...uhh...save the universe?"
"From what?" another demanded.
"From Mary-Sues," she tried to explain. As she went to explain further, pyro-technics went off and she was drowned out by Billie jumping on stage as well as Tre and Mike, all launching into the song The Grouch. Annoyed, Ashley jumped on the stage.
The music slowly came to a stop as Billie looked at her like she was an alien. Stacey and the Sneak were shaking their heads and hoping her plan was good, because the Emo-Goths were very upset that the music had been interrupted. Gio was just waiting for Ashley to charge at Tre.
Ashley grabbed the microphone from Billie. "Sorry," she muttered, turning to the Emo-Goths. Before she made the turn, however, she spotted Tre. For a long moment, they just stared at each other, and Ashley's eyes glazed over.
"ASHLEY NO!" Stacey shouted, jumping onto the stage as well. The Sneak and Gio followed behind her. Stacey plucked the microphone from her fingers and handed it forcefully to Gio. "Ashley, fight the urge. Fight it, FIGHT IT."
"Uhh..." Gio said into the mic, turning to the crowd. Billie walked over to him.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
"You see," Gio tried to explain, "we need your help." The comment was directed towards the crowd. "We need you to come with us and help attack the Death Star in order to destroy Mary-Sues, which otherwise will take over and blink everything out of existence, including Green Day."
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Aug 1, 2006 22:13:47 GMT -5
The Sneak watched as the crowd of Emo-Goths grew eerily quiet. Finally, a heavily eyelinered male in the front row asked, "But, dude? Who would want to kill Green Day? They're only the best thing on this planet since ever!" The other Emo-Goths made sounds of agreement and took a step closer to the stage, glaring at the small group who had stopped the concert.
Gio tried to come up with something to say, considering he thought his previous statement would be enough to persuade the Emo-Goths to join in the quest against the Mary-Sues. "Um...well-"
The Sneak stole the mic and simply coughed loudly into it, causing an ear-splitting ring to - well, ring - out. She then took off her Van Helsing hat and placed it over her heart while closing her eyes, almost as if she were getting ready to speak at a funeral. "A sad day has come over this universe. The vile Mary-Sues are out to gain world domination in every sense of the world and all we can do at this time is wish for worldly things when our immortal souls are in danger!"
The Emo-Goths continued to slowly advance. Billie Joe went over to the Sneak's side and hissed in her ear, "You better have a good reason for interrupting this concert. It's not every day you perform on Magrathea!"
The Sneak looked at Billie and shook her head. "Don't you see?" She turned to the audience. "If you don't help us fight against these evil creatures, you'll never have another chance to see a second concert by Green Day on Magrathea! Would you rather take your anger out on four crazy souls who are trying to save the world and thus let the real risk kill all of you-" she swung her arm, still clutching her hat, in a wide arc emcompassing the audience and Green Day, "-or go after said Mary-Sues and be able to rock on in peace until you all die of natural causes? Please, make the right choice, and come with us."
"Do these Mary-Whatsits really not like Green Day?" a teenage girl asked from the audience.
Ashley, still ogling Tre, took the mic from the Sneak and answered the girl. "They hate these lovely men. Incredibly and unconditionally." Gio, Stacey, and the Sneak all nodded emphatically.
Then, seemingly as one, the Emo-Goths started chanting, "Green Day! Green Day! Green Day!" Ashley then gave the mic to Tre and went back into her trance. Tre only looked a little bit disturbed.
"Ah, that seems to have done it," the Sneak said cheerily, cramming the hat back onto her head. "Now, how are we going to fit all these people into my little ship?"
Stacey just stared at her. "You didn't plan on getting a new form of transportation before we got here?" She smacked the Sneak on the back of the head.
"Oy! I didn't know there would be this many people!"
Stacey's jaw dropped momentarily. Gaining the ability to speak back, she said, "You're such an idiot. They all can't possibly fit on your ship, tied to the wings or not!"
"Oooooh, crap." The Sneak patted herself down, as if looking for something. She didn't find it. "Crap. I want a jar of dirt."
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