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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 9, 2005 14:29:02 GMT -5
Wow. Never thought I'd see the day...
Useful Mary Sues.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 9, 2005 16:26:48 GMT -5
Well, I wondered how they were getting from universe to universe...
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 10, 2005 14:43:22 GMT -5
It makes so much more sense now!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 11, 2005 10:03:14 GMT -5
Since Star Wars has the most plot holes, I figured they'd find it easiest, which is why they struck first.... not that any of the readers will ever find that out.
I have many plans now... many plans... *SNRK*
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 11, 2005 10:05:22 GMT -5
Professor Rumansa’s feeling of pride lasted for exactly one hour and seventeen minutes. That was how long it took him to get back from the Forest, into his office, pour himself a glass of wine, inform Sauron of what had happened, and then go down to lunch.
He’d have thought it would have taken a lot to destroy the pride of not only disposing of the story’s protagonists, but many other young witches and wizards as well – who said he was losing his touch? – but, in fact, it only took one glance at the Gryffindor table.
Because, sitting there, calmly having lunch, appeared to be Harry, Ron and Hermione.
If he had heard their conversation, however, he may have been less horrified.
“Just act natural,” Hermione was whispering to Harry, “Pretend that you’re used to eating surrounded by wizards…”
Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “It’s weird, though… everyone’s staring at me…”
“Protagonist!” shrieked Ron, whose head barely reached over the table, meaning something along the lines of “Of course they are, you’re the main character!”
“You really think they won’t notice her?” said Harry, nervously glancing at Ron, who, far from being tall and gangly, now seemed to be the size of an infant, and could only speak in a series of unintelligible shrieks.
“They won’t,” assured Hermione, “The canon will alter to fit us in… And don’t rub your forehead, you’ll smudge the scar!” she hissed as Harry sighed and raised his hand towards his head.
“Oh, right…” he said, “Sorry, Vi-”
“HERMIONE,” hissed Hermione.
“Right… I wonder how Olaf’s doing?”
“If I know him, he’s doing something extremely fiendish,” said Hermione, not with her usual look of gloom but with a barely suppressed grin.
“Yay!” shrieked Ron, which meant something like, “Hurray for the students of Hogwarts getting what’s coming to them, and for us getting our revenge on them for all the years of them being better than us!”
“Well said,” agreed Harry.
The students of Hogwarts were about to get a whole lot more unfortunate…
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 11, 2005 22:29:46 GMT -5
YES! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!
Thank you!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 12, 2005 5:04:02 GMT -5
... for what?
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 12, 2005 15:58:50 GMT -5
I'm just excited to see Sunny as Ron... that's all...
*giggles madly*
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 13, 2005 13:56:48 GMT -5
The idea did seem to have some merits...
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 14, 2005 1:05:54 GMT -5
*prod prod prod*
Postify!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 14, 2005 7:25:53 GMT -5
AGH! Ow! All right...
In Middle-earth, the NERD Council of Elrond was about to begin. Normally, councils made Elrond extremely happy – he finally felt as though he was contributing to something, and the attendees normally brought chocolates for him, though most of them were hastily snaffled by Arwen – but this time, as he surveyed the Council, he felt nothing but dread.
Most of the characters had arrived, but a fair few were missing. Frodo hadn’t been seen for days; Gandalf had sent word that he couldn’t make it but not explained why; Legolas seemed to have vanished somewhere on the road from Mirkwood to Rivendell; Saruman was probably up to his own fiendish plans (and good luck to him, Elrond thought fervently); they hadn’t heard from Boromir; and Sam, Merry and Pippin… well, Eru knew where three unescorted hobbits might end up.
At least Aragorn had made it, Elrond told himself, turning to the Ranger, who was sitting to his right. But this crisis seemed to have affected him – he was looking haughty and distant, jumped whenever anyone spoke to him, and was accompanied by a strange female Ranger called Leiagorn, who scarcely let him out of her sight. He made a mental note to talk to Arwen, and then rose to his feet. Immediate hush fell.
“Elves, dwarves, hobbits, men… we all know why we are here. First of all – has anyone seen Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Boromir, Gandalf or Saruman?”
The Council shook its head as one. Elrond said something extremely un-elflike, making several people raise their eyebrows in surprise. “Sorry,” he said quickly, “But we must try and manage without them, I suppose… Our main threat comes from Star Wars-”
Aragorn cheered for some reason, but quickly stopped when he was elbowed sharply by Leiagorn.
“-and from Harry Potter,” continued Elrond, looking oddly at Aragorn, “But I have heard that other fandoms have heard about our current warfare, and seem to be planning to try and twist this review to their advantage as well… Galadriel has looked into her mirror for me and has seen many strange things: skeleton pirates, a man with one eyebrow, a talking lion, wooden horses, people in black coats flying above cities, and, most oddly, a trunk with hundreds of dear little legs…”
The Council started whispering amongst themselves, disturbed by this news. “It is unfortunate,” said Elrond, raising his voice, “but we are seen as the biggest threat to other fandoms for this NERD review. We have gained the most fans in the last few years… I think some fandoms have become settled in their positions near the top-”
He was interrupted by the insisted bleeping of his phone. He hurriedly pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open. “Elrond here.”
“Elrond, it’s Boromir!” came a distressed voice.
“Oh, Boromir… why aren’t you here at the Council?”
“We’re having a few problems at Minas Tirith, Elrond…”
Elrond’s stomach sank. “What kind of problems?”
“Well-” The phone suddenly went dead. Elrond stared at it in his hand in shock, as though it was about to explain apologetically why the call had suddenly been cut short.
Stomach sinking still lower, he turned back to the Council. “It seems,” he said slowly, “that Minas Tirith is in a spot of trouble…”
Hundreds of miles away, Boromir was being dragged away from the phone back into the throne room by two pirates. These two pirates, cackling happily at finally being allowed to do what they did best without fear of repercussions involving a certain blacksmith, deposited the heir to the Stewardship of Gondor at the foot of the throne.
Cursing inwardly, Boromir looked up at the figure sitting on the throne.
Jack Sparrow grinned down at him. “Ahoy there,” he said.
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Aug 14, 2005 11:32:49 GMT -5
HUZZAH for the Pirate King! That was great, but poor Boromir... Aragorn and Leiagorn are great too...keep writing, Katie!
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Aug 15, 2005 4:17:43 GMT -5
OK! *trots off to write more*
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Post by Oni on Aug 15, 2005 6:36:28 GMT -5
Sweet. If I may gush; Hermy.
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Aug 15, 2005 11:59:34 GMT -5
LOL! I recognize the trunk with 100 legs!!
*squeals* BOROMIR!! BOROMIR ROXORS!!!! *clappy clappy* I'm excited! Posty posty posty!!!
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