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Post by Becky on Jun 21, 2005 15:39:16 GMT -5
NOW! Some of us need it....
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Post by Becky on Jun 21, 2005 15:39:57 GMT -5
Not me, of course, but you know. These losers. Ahem.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 22, 2005 12:06:26 GMT -5
*thwaps Becky's head*
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Post by amavi on Jun 24, 2005 13:11:05 GMT -5
*thwaps also*
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Post by Oni on Jun 24, 2005 15:04:59 GMT -5
*thwaps for the third time* Two questions arise - who are you to call me a loser, o exalted Jedi-trainer girl thing? And, of course, why do you want advice on getting a girlfriend? I mean, I could jump to the obvious male conclusion...wait, why aren't I?
EDIT: I apologise for the unfounded accusations. Having been too lazy to read, I thought you were talking about...you get the picture, right? Please don't force-choke me...
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Post by Oni on Jun 24, 2005 15:22:52 GMT -5
1) Don't act completely different around your friends as you do around us. We hate that. Same goes for starting pretend wrestling matches with your friends to look macho.
I try not to. Here, of course, I'm slightly more odd than in the real world, because it is, after all, the real world. But as for looking macho - no. Although I did choke a kid from year 7 for a bit after he called me a 'traveller piece of nuts'. 'Twas immensely fun
2) Start playing a musical instrument, especially the guitar or bass. That always works for me, and most of my friends as well.
Bleh. No time, no money, and right now, slight depression so no motivation.
3) You've obviously got a witty sense of humour, so use it. The first step to a girl's heart lies in making her laugh.
Not really witty, as such. I go for the dry, sarcastic humour for the most part, but it sometimes works.
4) Don't piss about not calling when you say you will, or not replying to texts, to seem cool. We hate that. However, avoid being desperate.
That's thinking a little too far into the future, but it's fair advice. Except for the desperation - I try to keep it under wraps, but it's pretty obvious to anyone who looks.
5) Be yourself, and find some common ground to base a friendship on, then build it from there.
Being a Family Guy nerd has already paid off, so yeah.
6) There are a remarkable number of female geeks out there, and a lot of them are quite attractive. Don't set your standards too low, as generally female geeks aren't all obsessy about looks like the Barbie girls in my class. Plus, don't worry about being a weirdo. Weirdos are cool compared to the jocks, chavs, chavettes and Barbies that are around.
Standards? I don't have standards. Seriously, if a girl's willing to go out with me, I'm game. The weirdo thing is true though. In the particular circle of people, there are two goths (and this is true gothic stuff, not posers), one guy who, despite being straight, is nicknamed 'Campman', another who looks like a hobbit but is dangerously close to being obsessed with war, a left-wing hippy and so on so forth.
7) You could always grow your hair long and dye it black - it adds to the deep mysterious look, and I think I speak for girls everywhere when I say that that is hot. Especially if you wear all black as well. This leads on to point number 8...
At one point, I didn't cut my hair for a few months. It didn't grow long; it just got messier. Besides, this isn't going to work - one of the big problems I have is that too many people know me as I am, and so 'changing my look' will just plain not work. University, on the other hand.
8) Work the psycho thing as well. I for one love a slight psycho vibe, though that might just be me. Mention the martial arts and the katanas, but don't go all Norman Bates or Francis Dolarhyde.
That's just you. I don't think anyone's particularly attracted to me for hurting people. Besides, the 'psychotic' part of me is certainly not going to work on the one particular girl I've been - not quite lusting, but somewhat - after; during a game of hockey in Games, I broke one of her fingers. A couple of weeks before that, I'd hit someone in the mouth. Both accidents, but I was well and truly screwed with her for life.
9) Sweep us off our feet! There isn't a girl alive who doesn't love a bit of old-fashioned gentlemanlyness. Hold doors open, offer to help them carry something if they have a lot of bags, offer to pay for them sometimes, offer to walk them home if you've gone out in a group in the evening (Incidentally, if it's dark play up the martial arts thing. Protectiveness is good, so long as it doesn't get stifling or possessive.) Once you get something going, don't suddenly stop doing this or we'll think you've lost interest and drop you.
Amazingly, I do stuff like this already.
10. Compliments, but use them sparingly, else we'll think you're a creep. No gushing.
Fair enough.
11. Be consistent and don't be nice to us, then back off, then be nice again, then back off again. It confuses us, rather than making us more interested.
Again.
12. Don't just agree with us for the sake of it. If we wanted that we'd date a doormat.
13. Impress us. Do something cool that they can't do but can still appreciate, by learning a magic trick to use or building a computer or something. Or help them with homework for something you understand that they don't. That's always a winner.
14. Don't use cheesy chat-up lines.....
Ha. Cheesy chat-up lines...in fact, any chat-up lines just don't work, ever. I witnessed a guy try one at a party, and get first rejected, then slapped.
15. Act like a future friend, not like a future boyfriend. If you come on too strong at the beginning you'll just scare us off.
Ah. I do try to do this, but then I'm in trouble because I'm in 'THE FRIEND ZONE'. As the Ladder theory states, it IS possible to get from the friend zone to more than that, but if it fails at the start, you're amazingly ****ed. It does work, but only very rarely; I witnessed the two aforementioned goths get together. but they broke up earlier in the year because they did too much like friends.
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Post by Oni on Jun 24, 2005 15:23:45 GMT -5
Now, guy advice. It works far better if you give me some specifics, such as 'What stereotype does he fit into?' This makes things a lot easier.
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Post by Becky on Jun 24, 2005 15:28:37 GMT -5
Well, 'weirdo-goth/greebo/geek.' I think.
And NO, it is not Gerard Way. I am not delusional.
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Post by Oni on Jun 24, 2005 16:09:45 GMT -5
OK, let's do this.
1) Flirt a little. If a guy flirts with a girl, it's creepy. If a girl flirts with a guy, then 9 times out of 10, the guy will be putty, and the other time, he'll be clay. You can't lose. That said, don't be s-lutty. It works in the short-term, but relationships do not work like that.
2) Find out, in this order - his favourite bands, favourite games and views on various subjects of politics, gaming and so on. Girl gamers, as CAD so aptly illustrates, are amazingly rare, and if he's any kind of a geek, that's an instant plus or five.
3) Do unto yourself as you would have others do. Or, more simply - if he's a part-goth, you go a little goth yourself. Nothing major, just black hair/make-up/clothes works.
4) If this is Paul, which I suspect it is (don't know why, I just do), then refer to us. He'll understand.
5) If all else fails, just ask him out straight off and sod the odds. That's about as much help as I can be; as you know, I'm not exactly the ladies' man, and some things I like, most guys won't.
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Post by Becky on Jun 24, 2005 16:16:49 GMT -5
Since when is Paul a 'weirdo-goth/greebo/geek'?
But thanks anyway, even if you guessed the guy wrong.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 29, 2005 7:28:13 GMT -5
That's useful advice, Oni... but my problem is that all the guys I know are GAY.
Or close enough that it would be weird.
Any others, and my sister snaps them up.
Dang.
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Post by Becky on Jun 29, 2005 11:01:42 GMT -5
I do not.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 1, 2005 2:34:55 GMT -5
Um, you do.
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Post by amavi on Jul 1, 2005 6:54:07 GMT -5
...here we go again...
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jul 4, 2005 5:47:16 GMT -5
Let's just avoid it...
So. Um.
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