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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Dec 8, 2004 6:44:14 GMT -5
Thanks to Mort for coming up with this suggestion!
Basically, it's like the Alphabet Story of weirdness, except you don't have to begin with a specific letter, and you can type more than one sentence (don't go overboard though)
As you can see from the title, I'd like it to have something to do with Christmas (this one, anyway) and doom is always good.
Basically, the rules ARE:
1. Keep the story on some sane sort of track. Don't immediately cut away unless it's relevant. For example, imagine this in Lord of the Rings:
'"Throw it in the fire!" cried Sam. Frodo held out his hand.
Meanwhile, in Mirkwood, Nalaithwen the elf was skipping gaily through the trees after a butterfly.'
Yah. Not so good.
2. Respect other people's storylines.
3. Keep everything PG, please, no sex, drugs, rude words or too much violence... wow, what sort of Xmas story is this going to be...
4. Add more than one sentence, but don't go overboard. Just write a sensible amount, and leave an easy opening for someone else to start writing.
5. Don't have too many main characters... otherwise we may lose track of who's who. When you introduce a character, make it clear who it is or leave it up to someone else to interpret it.
6. Feel free to have LOTR or other references, but don't make it a LOTR fanfic.
7. Make it funny and exciting... angst is no fun for Christmas.
And that's all I can think of for now. So let's get started! I'll try and start it off...
CHRISTMAS DOOOM
Once upon a Christmas Eve, Katie and Frankie were in a bit of a panic, wrapping up all their presents at the last minute. Frankie's pet ferret was being of little help, stealing all of the paper to make nests and growling whenever they tried to take it back.
"Oh, Frankie, that was for Gem's present!" said Katie exasperatedly as the ferret snatched a yellow and purple piece, "Where are we going to get more?"
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Post by ImaBrandybuck on Dec 8, 2004 11:20:38 GMT -5
Suddenly, Kathryn pops up from behind the Christmas tree shouting, "Purple and yellow? That's LSU colors! My friend Hayley goes to LSU!" Kathryn laughed nervously as Katie and Frankie stared at Kathryn like an idiot.
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Post by Beloved Fool on Dec 8, 2004 12:06:07 GMT -5
Mort and Helen emerged cackling from the kitchen, their arms full of red striped candy canes. Looking at the yellow and purple paper, Mort snatched at a long thin piece and ran off, squealing excitedly. Helen shook her head and bent to grab the candy canes he'd dropped.
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Post by Paranoid Android on Dec 8, 2004 14:43:19 GMT -5
"WOW!!! THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN!!!" squealed Frankie, grabbing another of the shreds of wrapping paper and chasing after Mort, giggling hysterically, and snatching a candy cane from Helen on the way. Katie tried to point out that they were supposed to be wrapping presents, but realised that once Frankie starts frolicking, it's hard to get her to stop.
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Post by ImaBrandybuck on Dec 9, 2004 0:54:30 GMT -5
Kathryn decided to join in the frolicking. She even extended this frolic to outside! But as soon as she did, it started raining. So the frolicking was then restricted to inside... again.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Dec 9, 2004 8:39:20 GMT -5
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Katie heard it, and turned to the frolickers. "Hey guys! I think it's a plot development! Who's going to answer it? FRANKIE PUT THE MUFFINS DOWN!!!!!"
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Dec 9, 2004 23:35:46 GMT -5
No one really felt the urge to answer it, so with a sigh, Katie carefully opened the door. With a melodramatic yet still somehow festive creak, the door sloooooowwwwly creaked open.
"Can't it go any faster?" Jackie complained. "I'm getting wet!"
"You're the plot development?" Kathryn asked, sounding more than a mite dissappointed.
"First I've heard of it," Jackie chirped. "Ooh shiny!" She slammed the door behind her and rushed to join Frankie in the frolicking.
Another knock at the door.
"That'll be the plot development," Helen sighed.
Katie swung open the door. "You're LATE," she said severely.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Dec 10, 2004 6:37:19 GMT -5
"A plot development is never late, Katie insert-your-surname-here. Nor is it early. It always arrived PRECISELY when it means to!" said a voice, echoing out of the dark.
Katie raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Alright, I got stuck in traffic." The plot development stepped out of the dark, revealing that it was, in fact-
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Post by Paranoid Android on Dec 10, 2004 6:54:14 GMT -5
a rabbit. No joke. And the Easter Bunny, as it seemed to be. As he stepped out of the shadows, he revealed his Easter egg basket, although the eggs had been replaced with grenades. Big grenades.
"Your wrapping of presents is futile," he said robotically. "Christmas will never come."
"NOOOOOO!" shrieked everyone, until Frankie asked, "Why?"
"Because I'm going to get rid of Christmas forever," he replied.
"Why?"
"Because I don't like it."
"Why?"
"Because it's always held in higher regard than Easter."
"Why?"
"Because... it is. So there."
"Why?"
"Will you ever shut up?"
"Why?"
The Easter bunny stuttered, and didn't know what to say, until Katie pointed out, "She can go on like that for hours. Days even."
"Well, I have a plan that even her annoyingness cannot foil..."
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Dec 10, 2004 6:57:24 GMT -5
"Unless she stops asking 'Why'," declared the Evil Easter Bunny, "I will RID THE WORLD OF ALL THAT IS PINK!!!"
There was a shocked gasp.
"Why?" said Frankie again.
"Frankie? Did you just hear that?" said Katie nervously.
"Of course I did! He said unless I stopped saying 'why', he would get rid of OH HOLY MUFFINS!!!!!!!" Frankie gave a wail of despair. "WHY??? WHY???? Oh no, I can't stop!!! WHY CAN'T I STOP??? WHY??? AAAARGH!!!!"
This called for desperate measures. "Look Frankie!" shouted Katie, waving a poster, "Johnny Depp!"
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Post by Paranoid Android on Dec 10, 2004 7:02:20 GMT -5
"Eeeee...." drooled Frankie, as she grabbed at the poster. "Pweetty...."
"Well that's got her distracted for a while," said Katie, breathing a sigh of relief. "She's stopped saying "why" now."
"Hmph. Fine. I much prefer blue as it is..." replied the Easter Bunny.
Katie gasped. "OH MY GOD!!! Are you our headmistress?!?!"
"Um, no..." said the Easter bunny, looking highly disturbed.
"Oh. Good. So what's your plan then? I'll assume it involves grenades..."
"Oh, it involves so much more... about 300 pounds more of red, white and big fluffy beard..."
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Post by ImaBrandybuck on Dec 10, 2004 14:37:39 GMT -5
Kathryn suddenly appeared from behind the couch. "CHERRY COKE!!!!" She randomly shouted. "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CHERRY COKE!?" Kathryn ran past everyone, and went staight for the Easter Bunny's basket full of grenades... unaware that it was full of grenades.
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Post by Paranoid Android on Dec 10, 2004 17:04:55 GMT -5
Unfortunately Kathryn's hyperactive obsession with Cherry Coke made her hallucinate so badly that she thought that one of the red grenades (they were "camouflaged" to look vaguely like eggs) was actually a can of Cherry Coke, and that the pin was the ring-pull. "NOOOOOOOO!" yelled Katie as she dove in slow motion across the room as she saw Kathryn reach for the pin. Also unfortunately, Kathryn had already tugged on the pin, and upon realising the lack of cherry coke in the "can", started shaking it in annoyance. Katie tried to get Kathryn to throw it away, but Kathryn just started giggling and ran away in Frankie's general direction, where she was still drooling over the Johnny Depp poster. "Frankie, stick your leg out!" screamed Katie. "I don't wanna...." she whined back. "Frankie, Johnny Depp wants you to stick your leg out." "OK!" Frankie stuck her leg out, effectively tripping Kathryn over, and causing the grenade to dramatically fly out of her hands, and out the open window (which was strange, considering it was December and freezing outside), where it exploded in a puff of pink and glitter. When Frankie saw this, her eyes widened (like this: ), and she suddenly started freaking out over whether to rush outside and play with the pink and glitter, or whether to stay and drool over the Johnny Depp poster. Considering she was hopping around, this made it look like she was in rather desperate need of the toilet. It was only then that the group (minus Frankie) realised that the Easter bunny's eggs were seemingly harmless, and turned to look at him...
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Dec 11, 2004 1:38:59 GMT -5
"Can you believe it?" The Easter bunny griped. 'Of ALL of my eggs of doom, she had to pick THAT ONE."
"That's an egg of doom?" Kathryn asked skeptically.
"In Frankie' case, yes," Katie sighed, and indeed, Frankie was horribly tormented between her two obsessions.
"I was planning on using that on some Goth's house," The Easter Bunny said defensively.
"Cool," Jackie said, peeking into the basket. "What else you got?"
"Get out of there," The fluffy doom machine snapped, snatching back a bright blue egg-grenade. "I'm saving that one for the Retirement Home."
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Post by Paranoid Android on Dec 11, 2004 10:17:58 GMT -5
"Hmmm," pondered Jackie, "What would cause doom to a Retirement home?"
"LOUD MUSIC!" yelled Katie.
"Of course," said Jackie, "Nothing could be worse!"
By this point, Frankie had realised that she could take the poster with her while she ran outside to roll around in the pink and sparkliness, and having done so, came back in, squealing with joy. "I'M SPARKLY!!!!!! AND I WANNA PARTAY!!!" She grabbed the egg and pulled the pin out of it, and the music started playing. Everyone started dancing (Frankie with her Johnny Depp poster), except for one person...
"Mwahaha," muttered the Easter bunny as he slipped out the door...
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