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Post by Paranoid Android on Jan 12, 2005 8:01:18 GMT -5
"KATIE!" yelled Alex, as she approached the rather mismatched group. I mean, there was the Easter Bunny, who was still cackling in his Count Olaf way ("Squiggle ho ho! Hee hee unhappiness"), The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom with a pink bow in his hair, and Katie, who was, well...
"Oh... My... God..." said Alex, slowly, as she was too in shock to say it at normal speed.
"Don't be givin' me evils!" screeched Katie.
"Katie..." Alex said pathetically, "you're a chav."
"OH MY GOD, I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!" she shrieked.
Alex started frantically waving her hands in front of Katie's face, but Katie just slapped her hands away, and asked Alex a question she never thought she'd hear.
"You got a spare fag?"
At this, Alex fainted. When she came to about 2 minutes later, she shook her head to get rid of the proverbial cobwebs.
"Katie, I just had the weirdest dream... I dreamt you'd become a chav, and asked me for a cigarette..."
"I ain't dun nuffin or nuffin! OH MY GOD, I SO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!"
Alex turned to see Katie in her full chavvy whatever-the-opposite-of-glory-is, and screamed. After a few seconds of screaming, she considered what this would do to her singing voice, and immediately stopped. She did, however, ask Katie:
"Did you or did you not ask me for "a fag"?"
"Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but therewasthiswholeotherfingright,thatididn'tevenknowabout,sodon'taskmebecauseiwasn'teventhereright,soyoushouldaskmichelle becauseshewassellingbacardibreezerstotheprimaryschoolkidsintheplayground,butidon'tevenknownuffinaboutit, so SHU' UP!"
Alex sighed in despair.
"So wha' abou' that fag then?" Katie asked.
Alex sighed yet again. 'Ok,' she thought, 'I know something that'll get her out of this state.'
"I loved the bit in the Lord of the Rings where that elf-girl, Arwyn or whatever, saved the short fat dude with skanky feet from the Dementors."
"Lord of the what?" she asked.
At this, Alex fainted again.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 12, 2005 17:36:32 GMT -5
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Frankie and the others were still unaware of what was going on, so devoted were they to their particular ice-creams.
"No way!" said David to the tree, "I love Queen too! What's your favourite song?"
On the horizon, Kathryn spotted Alex, dragging Katie by the hand. "Hey guys! Katie's back!"
"Who?" said Frankie blearily, raising her head from a vanilla coke fountain she'd discovered.
"You know, your friend?" Frankie looked blank. "The one you've known for about three years?" Nothing. "Who also hearts the Quagmires?"
"QUAGMIRES!!!!!" shrieked Frankie happily, "I heart them! She thinks they're pronounced so that they rhyme with frog, but I think they rhyme with bag... bags are cooler than frogs..."
"FRANKIE!" shouted Alex, "Katie's broken!"
"What?" said Frankie, "What's wrong with her? Apart from the usual things, of course..."
"OH MY GOD, I so can't believe you just said that!" said Katie in shock, "Have you been talking to Trish? Cosyoudon'twanttolistentoherrightcosmymatedanhetoldmethatshewentintobootsonceandshovedanentirebagofwinegumsupherfrontbut shegotcaughtandshewasall"ohIdon'tknowwheretheycamefrom"butanywaytheywentandphonedhermumwhichwasTOTALLYOUTOFORDER andshethrewarightfitandwouldn'tlethergotoLouise'spartyandLouisegotallmadandleftchewinggumalloverherlocker-"
"AAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frankie, "She's gone EVIL!"
"Make the chav go 'way..." whimpered David, clutching Jackie for comfort, who looked more than a little worried since she'd only just met him.
"What happened?" said Helen bewilderedly.
"There was this massive easter bunny," said Alex, "And he gave her the egg, and-"
"Oooooh," observed everyone sympathetically.
"Dang," commented Mort.
"But what can we DO?" cried Frankie, "She's the only one here who is thoughtful! Without her, our quest is doomed to nonsensicalness!"
"Huzzah!!!" cheered everyone.
Frankie rethought. "OK, so maybe that's not as bad, but who else am I going to talk about the Quagmires with?? And Quigley???"
"Quigley?" said Katie, "What kinda stupid name is THAT?"
Frankie wailed.
"You saw the easter bunny?" asked Jack, "Did you get The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom back?"
Alex shook her head. "But he'll know you're here now..."
"Andhe'sprobablyplottingsomethingagainstnowcoshe'satotalBITCH!Butanyway-" started Katie again, until Frankie stuffed a massive marshmallow in her mouth.
"Mmmf," continued Katie, but the words were no longer as horrifying.
"It's for the greater good," said Frankie, "She'll probably shower at least eight times in a row when she's recovered..." #nosmileys#nosmileys#nosmileys
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Post by Oni on Jan 13, 2005 16:10:04 GMT -5
Turning up fashionably late (or just late, depending on who you talk to), the oni decided that it would be a good idea to kick down the door of the ranch screaming 'IT'S PSYCHO TIME!'
The looks from everyone else fell just short of '...keep that freak away from me.' Not quite getting the message, the oni carried on with an amount of cheeriness that should be made illegal before nine a.m.
'Whoa, what happened to her? She's gone all...y'know...guys with the stupid gold chains...girls with belt-skirts...chavvy, that's the word.'
When you're faced by a strange, strange, very strange person you don't know, the question 'Are you on drugs or something?' is not the best one to ask. Just remember that, in case it ever happens to you.
'No. I'm just ever so slightly drunk. Thanks for noticing.'
'Do you want to say it, or shall I?' asked Mort of everyone.
'Oh, you can do it.'
'OK. Excuse me, Mr...'
The oni, who was annoying Chav!Katie by dangling a fat sparkly gold chain inches out of her reach, didn't look up as he answered 'Call me...Oni. Wait, that's my real name...damn. Er, scratch that, my real name's...err...Daniels...Jack Daniels.'
Mort looked around, his expression saying 'What the hell did I get myself into?'
'Anyway, now that the introductions have been dispensed with, I believe it's about time that the evil genius explains his plan to me.' He looked around, staggering slightly.
'None of you are evil geniuses, are you?'
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 13, 2005 17:27:11 GMT -5
(YAY MRO YOU'RE HERE!!!)
"Mmmmf!" protested Katie from behind the marshmallow.
"What Katie meant to say, I'm sure," said Frankie, "If she weren't so... out of her mind from highly specific eggs of doom... is how the hell did you get here??"
"Ah!" said Oni (or Jack Daniels, whatever) "Tis a grand tale, an epic tale, involving some hummingbirds, a wind turbine, and a tea strainer-"
"Save it," said Helen, "You want evil geniuses, the Easter bunny is the place to go."
"So we'll take a trip some time!" said David to the tree, having found this conversation boring and returned to his new best friend, "We'll pack a lunch, go to the seaside..."
"Hmmm," said Oni, raising an eyebrow dramatically, "Join the dark side... what an interesting idea..."
"Mmmmf!!!!" said Katie.
"We need to find some way of changing her back!!!" cried Frankie, "Alex, did you try Lord of the rings references?"
"Yes," said Alex sadly, "She had no idea what it was."
And everyone fainted at once.
Except Katie...
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jan 14, 2005 0:58:51 GMT -5
"mmpph," Katie said through Jackie's stolen marshmallow. Seeing that her unconscious companions weren't paying her any attention, she got to her feet with half an idea to go find other people who were NORMAL, like her. Fortunately, the masses of gaudy gold chains about her neck proved to be too much. She fell back to the ground with a highly-audible wumph, which was followed by a less-audible patooey which was followed very closely by a nearly-inaudible splat.
"SHMALLOW!" Jackie burst, sitting bolt upright. Sure enough, the remains of the marshmallow that had been in Katie's mouth lay in a white pile of goo in the middle of a chocolate ice-cream log.
"Shmallow," Jackie whispered, tears welling up.
Seeing someone awake, Katie immediately began blathering in her harsh "chav-ese."
Jackie winced and plugged her ears. "Make it stop," She whined, kicking Frankie repeatedly.
Frankie groaned, got to her feet, and shoved another marshmallow into Katie's working mouth.
"NOT THAT WAY!" Jackie shrieked.
"Do you have a better idea?" Frankie asked dryly, trying to bring Alex around.
Jackie stared at her. "NOT THAT WAY!"
Alex, like Frankie, groaned. "Shut up," she suggested.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 14, 2005 7:24:37 GMT -5
"WAIT!!!!" shouted Helen in a random moment of inspiration. Everyone turned and looked at her. "I have an idea!!!"
"Since when you did you start having ideas???" said Mort disbelievingly.
Helen shrugged.
"Good on you!" said Jack, waving a rum bottle, "So what's your plan?"
"Weeell... the easter bunny has eggs of doom for EVERYONE, right?"
"Yeeees," chorused everyone.
"So he must keep them somewhere, right?"
"Yeeees," chorused everyone.
"And everyone's personalities must be in there, right?"
"Yeeees," chorused everyone, except David, who'd got bored again and had returned to talking to the tree.
"So... there must be someone out there with the reverse personality to Katie, whose egg of doom would turn her into them...."
"Yeeees...." chorused everyone, but not as enthusiastically.
"To make a good fondue, you have to watch the cheese CONSTANTLY," said David to the tree.
"So..." said Helen, "To turn her back, we just have to figure out whose personality is opposite to hers, and find that person's egg, and give that to her!!"
There was a silence. Even David was silent - he'd engaged in a staring contest with the tree.
"Can't we just stay here and find another whippy mountain?" said Frankie sadly.
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Post by Paranoid Android on Jan 14, 2005 7:47:06 GMT -5
"No," said Helen. "We have to get her back."
"B-bu-but WHIPPY!!!" shrieked Frankie.
"Where we're going, there's lots of Whippy," lied Helen.
"Where are we going?" asked Jackie, doing a bad impression of Pippin.
Frankie sniffed sadly. "Katie would have noticed that before...." She promptly burst into loud, waily, mourning sobs.
Helen ignored her, and turned to Jackie. "Well, we need to get the eggs, so we just have to find the Easter bunny."
There was a pregnant pause.
"OOH OOH OOH! Is it a girl or a boy?" asked Frankie eagerly.
"I think the Easter bunny's a boy..." replied Kathryn.
"NO! NOT THE EASTER BUNNY!"
"Then who?"
"The baby!"
"What baby?!"
"The pause's baby!"
"What?!"
"There was a pregnant pause!"
The rest of the group groaned at the badness of the pun, except for Katie, who didn't get it. Well, you can't blame the lass, she was in a chav-like state.
"Well, for the duration of Katie's chavness, I guess I'll have to be the thoughtful one," piped up Alex.
"Why do YOU get to be the thoughtful one?" asked Mort indignantly, as if he was intending to be thoughtful.
"Do YOU want to be the thoughtful one?" asked Alex.
"Maybe I do, and maybe I don't..."
"Do YOU know where the Easter bunny is?"
"No..."
"Do you even know in which DIRECTION the Easter bunny is?"
"No..."
"I know," said David, still in conversation with the tree. "They do have very one-way conversations, don't they?"
Ignoring him, Alex continued. "Well, along with Katie, I was the last one to see which way he went, so if you'll all just follow me, we can go and find him, and save Christmas while we're at it."
This led to a huge outburst from the rest of the group.
"I CAN'T LEAVE MY FRIEND!"
"WHIIIIIPPYYYYY!"
"BUT I'M NOT DONE WITH THE RUM AND RAISIN YET!"
"BUT I ONLY JUST GOT HERE! AND I'M DRUNK!"
"WHHIIIIPPYYYYYYYYY!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!"
The last one was Alex, trying to get everyone's attention. It worked.
"Whippy..." said Frankie quietly, earning a glare from Alex.
"David, I know you don't want to leave your tree, but I saw an entire working orchestra made out of ice cream in the distance the way the Easter bunny went," Alex continued.
"I'm sorry, tree, but I've got new friends to find! And they're actual people!"
Alex accidentally-on-purpose failed to mention that they weren't real people, and that, they did not, in fact, exist at all.
"Whippy..."
"Frankie, there was also a nearby machine full of enough Whippy to make 500 Whippy mountains, and there's in-built hot fudge sauce that comes out with it. There's also a bed, so you can lie down underneath the tap to eat it."
"WHIPPY WHIPPY WHIPPY WHIPPY!!" screeched Frankie gleefully.
"Ok, so we're all fine. Aren't we?" she added menacingly.
"Yeah," replied Jackie. "But seriously, where are we going?"
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 14, 2005 7:56:14 GMT -5
"Well," said Alex, "We need to figure out the opposite of Katie..."
Everyone went thoughtful. It was a strange moment.
"VICKY POLLARD!!!" cheered Frankie.
"OH WOW!!!!!" said David, hopping up and down and clapping his hands together, "We get to find Vicky Pollard! Actually, wait, she's scary... protect me, Alex..."
"Don't worry, dear," said Alex, patting him on the head, "Now, we have to find the Easter Bunny, and with Katie's LOTR-radar out of action, it'll be a mite trickier..."
"Trickier," nodded Kathryn.
"Mite," nodded Jackie.
"It," observed Frankie.
"IT'S DOOMED FROM THE START!!!!" cried Mort in despair.
"Or... we could just follow the footprints," pointed out Helen.
Pause. "Oh yeah," said everyone.
"And then there'll be whippy?" asked Frankie hopefully.
"Uhhh... yeah," said Alex.
Frankie squealed happily and started skipping along the road, singing loudly, "We're OFF to see the WHIPPY! The wonderful whippy of cream! La la la la la la la, whippy whippyness, la la!"
Everyone else followed, slightly more quietly.
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Post by Oni on Jan 14, 2005 11:25:42 GMT -5
Half a mile along the road, and a series of accidents involving the Whippy-crazed Frankie and a polo mallet later, and all was quiet in the land of sprites.
Then someone started playing 'The Birdie Song' on a flute and stretching three-letter words out for minutes at a time. Screams have never been louder. It was about then that David realised exactly why the generic-looking town actually looked so familiar.
'HOLY CRAP THIS IS LITTLE BRITAIN!'
'Why yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.' came the reply, followed by another rousing rendition of Rule Britannia on the kazoo.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 14, 2005 17:29:58 GMT -5
Looking around in horror, the group suddenly realized that they were no longer in Ice-cream land...
and were instead outside a very wet hotel in Scotland.
And that's not as in the hotel was wet, but that their surroundings were wet, because it was raining, as is Scotland's wont. Actually, the hotel WAS wet, because the rain had made it wet, so I stand corrected.
And in front of them, playing on his little kazoo thing, was the batty scottish hotel owner.
"What are we doing here????" said Alex, which was a very sensible question.
"WHERE'S WHIPPY MOUNTAIN???" shrieked Frankie, which was not a very sensible question, because she knew that whippy mountain was currently residing in her stomach, or maybe was starting its journey down the ileum. But let's stop talking about digestion.
"Magic sprites, I did summon ye up with my box o' lights!" said the batty scottish hotel owner, "I didst wave my magic wand and type in the magic number, and POOF! Here you are!"
Everyone turned round to see a computer on a desk. "You.. ordered us off e-bay," said Alex disbelievingly.
"Yeees," said the hotel owner, skipping slightly and playing the ER music on the kazoo.
"How much did I cost?" Mort ran over to look at the screen. "£50, wow... hey, Frankie cost £500!"
"She's unique," pointed out Jack Sparrow, "Which can be a good thing."
Frankie beamed and started skipping around. "The wonderful thing about Frankies is I'm the only one!"
"OOOH!" squealed David, "THE TREE'S ONLINE!!!" He shoved Mort out the way and started typing frantically.
"What is this place?" said Jackie bewilderedly.
"Little Britain," said Alex, "Try not to worry about it, we'll soon be on our way..."
"Be ye pursuing the Easter bunny?" asked the hotel owner. Everyone stopped and looked at him. Apart from Frankie and David, of course, because Frankie was still trying to bounce on her tail, which, being non-existent, made the job a whole lot harder, and David was chatting to the tree.
"Yes, we-" began Alex.
"FUR of pink, and eyes ablaaaze?"
"Uh... yes."
The hotel owner nodded, and started playing 'The Dashing White Sergeant.'
"OOOH! DANCE WITH ME, MORTY!!" cheered Frankie, pulling Mort towards her and making him do a jig.
"I'm surrounded by idiots," muttered Oni, rubbing his temples.
"Did you see the easter bunny?" said Alex loudly, interrupting the hornpipe, much to Frankie's annoyance.
"If ye asked me on a Monday, I'd say - yeeees!" said the hotel owner, "If ye asked me on a Tuesday, I'd say - yeeees! If ye-"
Alex groaned. "What do we dooo??"
"Uhhh..." Kathryn grabbed a stick off the ground. "All right, you old batty scottish hotel owner! Fear the, uh, WAND, of uh... DOOM... NESS!!"
The batty scottish hotel owner gasped and looked terrified. "Threaten me not, I will tell ye where he went!"
"Thanks," said Kathryn, lowering the stick to her side. The hotel owner breathed a sigh of relief.
"Now, have ye heard of a place, where you can buy all the foods ye have ever dreamed of, and if ye perform the secret ritual, ye get... bonus points?"
"TEEEEESCOOOOOO!!!!!!" cheered Frankie, which probably meant something along the lines of, 'Yes, I do, it is a popular supermarket chain which I am fond of.'
The hotel owner turned and glared. "Ye know too much..."
"Tescos?" said Alex, "The easter bunny is at Tescos?"
"I will answer ye... through dance! Oh, children!" Two midgets ran up to him and started dancing around him waving scarves, while the hotel owner played on his little flute. Everyone stared at him bewilderedly... well, not quite everyone.
"Oh wow! The tree's got webcam!" said David excitedly, waving at the screen, "I can see it, it can see me! Hahahaha!!!"
No-one quite knew who they thought was odder. But then Frankie bent down to look at a plant, and said, "Why, hello, little rock monster! I see you have opposable thumbs! That will be welcome news for the people of Happyville..."
"Let's go," said Alex fearfully, "I think it's contagious..."
(500TH POST! WOOO! I know I don't become anything, but STILL!)#nosmileys
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jan 15, 2005 1:28:15 GMT -5
"Wait, we can't leave yet!" Jackie sniffled. "I haven't figured out where we ARE yet, My brain hurts because I've not figured out how we got ordered off Ebay... Which is actually really cool..."
"Come ON," Alex sighed, grabbing Jackie.
"But, wait, I haven't stolen their shmallows yet!"
"Whippy!" Agreed Frankie.
"KATIE'S at stake here!" Alex burst angrily.
"Katie got to eat two of my shmallows," Jackie muttered.
"It's the easter bunny's fault," Kathryn pointed out. "Blame him."
"Okay!"
Alex grabbed Mort and Frankie and pulled them away from the moniter.
"When I get home, can I order you guys off Ebay, too?"
"NO, Frankie."
[As I know nothing of Little Britian, I fear I can add very little if anything, to the plot...]
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jan 15, 2005 14:28:44 GMT -5
(That's OK. Assume we're out of Little Britain now, and back in normal Scotland. Och aye the noo.)
"Och aye the noo!" said Frankie as they trudged down the road in the direction which, they hoped, would take them to Tescos.
"What was that for?" said Helen.
"We're in Scotland," said Frankie, "And I wanted someone to tell me what it actually meant..."
There was a silence. "We're not supposed to ask," whispered David, looking scandalised.
"Oh," said Frankie, "Sowwy."
They continued trudging down the road. This is a very boring piece of narration, so I'm going to go and get some grapes, and by the time I get back, they'll have arrived at Tescos.
...
They arrived at Tescos, having skipped a whole boring part of the narration. Frankie went into new levels of ecstasy at their return to one of her favourite places, and literally skipped through the front doors.
Once inside, they decided, in true horror story fashion, to split up to search the aisles for the Easter bunny. Frankie, David, Alex and Katie went one way, Frankie dragging Jack Sparrow with her, saying even though she had recovered they would still never be parted, and Kathryn, Jackie, Oni, Mort and Helen went the other.
"OOOH LOOK!" said David when they were going down the ice-cream aisle, reaching into the freezer and pulling out an ice-lolly box, "The tree had babies!!! It never told me!!"
"TESCO BRAND APPLEADE!!!!!" shrieked Frankie happily, "2 litres for only 39p!!! HYPERNESS IN LIQUID FORM!!!"
"Oh boy..." muttered Alex, and turned round to see Katie stuffing sweets into her top. "No! BAD KATIE!"
"I ain't done nuffin'," muttered Katie, looking from side to side.
"Oh come on, Katie, I saw you stuff those sweets in your jacket!"
"No but yeah but no becausewhathappenedwasrightthisthinghappenedthatIdidn'tevenknownothingaboutSHUTUP! Inevernickednuffin'apartfromlikeonethingeverfingandlikeafewotherfingsbutapartfromthatInevernickednuffin'!"
Alex groaned. "Frankie, can you see the Easter bunny anywhere??"
"Wha'?" said Frankie, looking up, "I was watching the frozen peas..."
"WHY?"
"To see if they try to run away..."
Alex didn't even ask.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mort, Helen, Kathryn, Jackie and Oni were being slightly more successful in their hunt... in that they were actually looking for the easter bunny instead of watching frozen vegetables.
However, for some unbeknownst reason (as in probably beknownst to them but the author is completely in the dark about it) Kathryn and Jackie had thought it would be fun to ride in a shopping trolley, and had made the others push it.
They turned a corner onto the confectionary aisle when they saw the rabbit. "OOH LOOK!" said Jackie excitedly, "Do you think that's him??"
"No," said Oni, "I'm sure it's just some other massive pink rabbit, wearing a sash saying 'HAPPY EASTER', accompanied by The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom in hot pants and with a pink bow on his head."
"Oh, OK," said Jackie sadly, "We'd better keep looking..."
"Don't be silly, Jackie!" said Kathryn, "He might at least know the Easter Bunny!"
Helen and Mort sighed in despair.
"We must be careful in our approach," said Jackie, raising an eyebrow in what she thought was a thoughtful manner, "He could be dangerous... we must be stealthy, and-"
"Or we could do it this way," said Oni, giving the trolley a large shove. It shot away down the aisle in the direction of the Easter Bunny.
"AAAARGH!!" screamed Kathryn.
"WHEEEE!!!" said Jackie delightedly, sticking out her arms, "I CAN FLYYYY!!"
The Easter bunny looked up from the easter eggs it had been examining (they're already out in shops, can you believe it??) just in time to see Kathryn and Jackie shooting towards him, to arrange his face into a look of surprised fear, before the trolley crashed into him, with a loud and painful sounding KRRSSSHTHUD.
Helen, Mort and Oni raced up the aisle, but the Easter bunny quickly picked himself up, grabbed The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of Bloom, and bounded away out the entrance. This was bad enough. But when they got to Jackie and Kathryn, lying sprawled on the floor, what they saw made their situation just that little bit worse.
The Bunny had dropped the basket full of Eggs of Doom, and over half of them had shattered, covering Jackie and Kathryn with the differently covered glitter. "Oh no," commented Helen, "What'll happen to them?"
Kathryn sat up. "Ow," she muttered in a whiny voice, "That huuuuurt!!! I hurt my kneeee!" She suddenly leapt to her feet, an entirely different expression on her face. "But no time for pain! Pain is for lazy people! We have a bunny to catch!" Just as quickly, she started skipping round in circles, humming the theme song of The Littlest Elf.
"O... K..." said Mort uneasily.
"Don't you see??" said Helen, "She got lots of different eggs! They've developed multiple personalities!!"
"Computer says no," said Jackie absently, from where she was sitting on the floor, and started swinging from side to side.
Alex, Frankie, David, Katie and Jack came running round the corner. Or rather, only Alex was running as fast as she could - Frankie and David were skipping, Katie was trudging with a sulky look on her face, and Jack was saying, "But there's so much rum, can't we at least buy some?-"
"What happened?" asked Alex, skidding to a halt. Everyone else crashed into her back and toppled over.
"Yaay! Uncy Davey cushion!" said Frankie happily.
"The Easter bunny got away," said Helen, "And Kathryn and Jackie have developed multiple personalities."
"Not much, then," said Jack.
Mort suddenly bent down and picked up a scrap of paper off the floor. He read it, frowning, and suddenly smiled. "Don't worry," he said, "We know exactly where the bunny's going..."
My entries are getting longer and longer. Someone else can decide where the Easter bunny is now, I seem to be hogging all the major plot developments...
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Post by Oni on Jan 15, 2005 17:23:09 GMT -5
'What's that say? 'Class in a glass'? What the hell does that mean?' screamed the Oni, now firmly back into 'Psycho Time' mood, as demonstrated when he began to destroy the freezers with a bag of oven chips.
'I know where it's going...' said a random elf (Santa's helpers elf, not The Meerkat We Do Not Speak Of style elf). Unfortunately, that was as far as it got before Frankie dived on it and inadvertantly hugged it to death.
'It's got to be Tortuga!' slurred Jack.
'Not everything can be solved by Tortuga, you half-evolved, flea-ridden, disgrace to the good name of pirate, pirate!' roared the Oni before wandering off in search of more people to terrorise.
'It says...'Class in a glass, that is. The stinking bunny ye seek is headed towards...your school?' How does a piece of paper know where the school is?' said Alex, the sole sensible one left.
'Or does it...no, wait, yes, yes it does. Well, we know what we must do, correct?' put in Mort
'And that is...?'
'The same thing we do every night, Alex...try to take over the world!.' Mort then went into the entire feme toon to 'Pinky and The Brain'
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Post by reasonably_crazy on Jan 17, 2005 0:06:58 GMT -5
"This is really, really bad, Alex," Helen said, becoming rather pale.
"Really?" Asked Alex sarcastically, moments away from ripping out her hair. "I didn't know that. Why don't you explain exactly how bad it is?"
"Well," Helen outlined, "Katie, Kathryn, and Jackie have all been bunny-fied-"
"But I was hit with an egg too, and I'm..." Frankie trailed off, not wanting to say "back to normal" for fear of letting Jack know he didn't necessarily have to stick around anymore.
"So it should wear off?" Alex said hopefully, releasing her hair.
"Well, Katie's should in good time," Helen said as delicately as she could manage, "but Kathryn and Jackie had HALF of the eggs broken on them..."
Alex's hair seemed to be in mortal peril again. "You mean they'll both have multiple personalities for... That long?"
"Bubbles!" squeaked Jackie bouncing up and down, then started swaying side to side again. "Computer says no..."
"It sucks being in charge, doesn't it?" Mort said sympathetically, patting Alex's arm.
"This is all your fault, Katie!" Alex shouted at Katie, who immediately fired back.
"SHUT UP!! CuzyouknowthatIwastalkintowhatzernameandshewasalllike'WHARever'andIwasalllike'youbetternotnuhuhandIbeathersobad soyoubetterjus'shutyourdammouthcuzIcanbeatyoulikethatandyouknowwhatelseyoulittle-"
"I hate to intrude upon what sounds like a VERY interesting conversation," Jack broke in, "But shouldn't we be getting to Tortuga?"
"We're not going to Tortuga, Jack," Helen sighed.
"Well, it was worth a shot," Jack muttered.
"Come on, then," Alex groaned. "Somebody run to the pet section and get leashes for Kathryn and Jackie... With our luck we'll probably need them."
"AND DON'T-" Kathryn shouted in a rage, ".... FORGET...THE PEANUT BUTTER!"
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Post by Mort not signed in on Jan 17, 2005 6:01:36 GMT -5
The Easter Bunny took that moent to reappear in a whirl of swirling coconut-smelling leaves. Mort shrieked and dived behind Helen and David for protection. Helen patted him on the head absentmindedly whilt they all stopped what they were in the middle of and stared at the giant bunny rabbit.
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