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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 21, 2005 14:47:03 GMT -5
Narrator: And now, back to the Millennium Falcon, where they are about to be attacked by Sues and Frankie hasn't grasped that that is a BAD THING, and Doris has just revealed there IS another lust object on board!
Due to the stress of the situation, the shocked silence was limited to a short amount of time.
"What??" said Jackie.
"Did you look in the compartments?" asked Doris mildly.
Boo ran over to the concealed compartments in the floor... and discovered a very cramped looking Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Chewbacca.
"Well, that worked," said Luke.
"They normally don't check!" said Han irritably.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" said Jackie in amazement.
"US? What the hell are YOU doing, hijacking the ship when we're just looking for Luke's lost penny?" demanded Han Solo.
"Look," said Katie, "Cut long argument and explanation short. We're about to be attacked by SueTroopers, so Han and Luke, go out there and distract them while we go save our friends, 'kay?"
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HappyPie
Ranger
One's never alone with a rubber duck.
Posts: 127
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Post by HappyPie on Jun 22, 2005 16:06:19 GMT -5
Luke blinked. Han blinked. Chewbacca blinked, roared, and ripped a random passerby's arm out of his socket. Obi-Wan ate the arm.
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Nfinity
Ent
Nothing makes sense, when you're easily bewildered.
Posts: 588
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Post by Nfinity on Jun 24, 2005 21:48:03 GMT -5
*Dies laughing**pause* ewwww. I've been gone for too long
Stacey continued running, unaware that all of the Sues previously chasing her were now intent upon the destruction of Oni. She passed Ashley and the Sneak, not noticing them, even when Ashley yelled out, "STACEY!" She was intent upon one thing: finding the Sue that had her polystyrene nose and shoving it up her own plastic nostril. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and nearly fell off the side of the SALAS through a window which someone carelessly left open. She cartwheeled her arms, doing a balancing act reminiscent of the circus and fell back from the window: straight into someone's arms.
"Be careful," said the said someone in a deeper-than-a-Sue-most-definitely-must-be-a-man's voice. Stacey looked up...and all thoughts of polystyrene noses, Sue mutilating, and her Ashley melted.
Her fate was sealed; she was in love
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Jun 24, 2005 22:07:14 GMT -5
"STACEY!" Ashley yelled as, in fact, Stacey herself ran right past her. "Did you see that?" she asked the Sneak.
"What, you mean the flying blur?"
"No, Daisy Wenham running naked." The Sneak looked highly interested in this mental image. "Hey! Snap out of it, he's mine! Of course, I mean the flying blur. We've gotta go get her before she hurts herself."
Ashley and the Sneak ran in the same general direction as Stacey and almost fell out of the same open window that Stacey had almost fallen out of. "How inconsiderate!" yelled Ashley. "What idiots would leave a window open?"
"Do you even have to ask that? Only Sues would do this..." The Sneak looked away, a dark look in her eyes.
They continued to run.
And passed Stacey before realizing it. The Sneak came to her senses first and made a quick U-Turn while grabbing Ashley by the arm and ran back. "What are you doing? We have to find Stacey!"
"I already did!" The Sneak suddenly stopped and pointed toward the open window.
And there stood a love-struck Stacey in the arms of none other than...
*Scene change*
Sir Bedivere: Are you made of wood? Accused constantly of being a witch? Have silly disguises put on your face because people don't like you?
Witch/Village Woman: *nods*
Sir Bedivere: Then I have just the product for you! Have a look at Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Ad's Fireproof Body Spray! Just spray on--
Ashley and the Sneak: Get on with it!
*Scene change*
Ashley looked at the dark figure holding her best friend. "Is that...?"
The Sneak shook her head, amused. "You can't be serious..."
The dark figure turned to the two girls and said, "Why yes, I am Sirius. Sirius Black."
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Nfinity
Ent
Nothing makes sense, when you're easily bewildered.
Posts: 588
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Post by Nfinity on Jun 24, 2005 22:29:01 GMT -5
*swoon* Thank you Tava. *huggles Sirius*
Stacey barely noticed her best friend and the Sneak, her eyes were glued on the man holding her in his arms. She couldn't believe it... it couldn't be possible...
"Ahem!" A cough brought her out of her reverie and she blinked up at Ashley in surprise.
"Hi. How long have you been here?" Sirius steadied her again and gently let go, much to her dismay. Ashley rolled her eyes.
"We've been here for a while now," she said, annoyed at the doey-eyed look on her best friend's face. "We have to go back to the Millenium Falcon now." Stacey pouted and looked up at Sirius. Ashley rolled her eyes again. "You can take him with you, just come one or we're leaving you here." Stacey beamed and grabbed Sirius's hand as the Sneak led them toward where the Millenium Flacon was previously.
"Well, s**t," Ashley said bluntly when they found no ship. They were pondering what to do when an un-Lust-objectifyed Oni ran through, trying desperately to escape the Sues out for his blood. The Sues slowed as Oni reached familiar people and stood with them. The Sues surrounded the five of them, malicious grins on thier faces.
"Well s**t," Stacey reiterated.
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HappyPie
Ranger
One's never alone with a rubber duck.
Posts: 127
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Post by HappyPie on Jun 25, 2005 15:29:13 GMT -5
Han and Luke stormed through the hallways, dressed in the regular Sue uniform of a pink suit, fluffy pink slippers, and a fashionable pink blob worn on the head. they carried out-of-date blasters.Sue 942, who was on her way to lunch ( she was going to have a nice meal of Johnny Depp's bones. What she hadn't realized was that the person who sold them to her wasn't a credible Sue chef...it was Johnny Depp himself. pity...cutie gone batty.), saw these weapons and grinned. She switched a switch marked "ASS" (Silent Sue Alarm...the acronym had gotten mixed up) and ran to throw her lunch back in her locker. She wouldn't need it. Tonight they would feast.
~Flip scene~ *mmmmmmmm,* thought Sirius. *I could use a little cheese right now.* "C'mon, sirius, we have to get back to the ship." "Is there cheese there?" "What?" "I won't go unless there's cheese." Stacey grinned maniacly. "Sure, there's cheese. It's huggles gourmet." Stacey giggled and led Sirius onward.
~flip scene again~ back on the millenium falcon... "I think your friends are in trouble." " What makes you think that, Doris?" asked Katie. Wait, was Katie even still on the ship? It didn't matter, she asked it in any case. "Well, I'm detecting infrapink pulses at precise intervals..." "precise intervals?" "They're spelling out a message." "What's the message?" "L...U...S...T...O...B..." "Say no more. I know the message." "What, 'lustob'?" asked a random passerby with a blue basket full of salmon. Chewy ripped his arm off, but Obi-Wan was full.
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Post by Oni on Jun 25, 2005 15:32:11 GMT -5
'Ah' said Oni. 'Hi, guys. I think I may have got you in a bit of a bind this time.'
'We'd noticed. What happened to you?' asked Ashley, determined to come off as the sensitive one of the two girls.
'Scar smeared. Then they started chasing me. Makes a welcome change from them...treating me like I was...handsome. Uuuurgh...'
All the while, the Sues closed in. Oh, for the Sue-Killing Sword right about now...
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 27, 2005 6:05:56 GMT -5
It was lucky for them that the Gods of Fanfic were pretty pissed off with the Sues as well at this point. For, in remarkably theatrical and dramatic timing, it was at this moment that the others came running around the corner with their various weapons.
"RAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!" yelled Katie, which was a suitably fitting battle cry for the situation.
"WHO'S GONNA GET DE-BLESSED???" yelled Frankie, waving the Poping Pen threateningly.
"Hey, that's Sirius," said Alex in amazement.
"Yes, Alex, this IS a serious situation," said Katie.
Somewhere, a drumkit played Ba-dum-bum-TSH.
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HappyPie
Ranger
One's never alone with a rubber duck.
Posts: 127
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Post by HappyPie on Jun 27, 2005 9:42:44 GMT -5
the man with the blue basket full of Salmon was at the police station. "Yes, officer, I was just passing by the Millenium Falcon, minding my own business, when this large furry creature ripped off my arm." "Well, that's an unusual thing to rip off. Is your arm particularly rich and/or eccentric?" "What?" "Well, it is strange to want to rip off your arm and not you, so I am asking if there was any particular reason that your arm was scammed by a large furry creature." "No, it wasn't scammed, the creature ripped my arm out of its socket, salted it, and gave it to an old man. Can't you see all the blood." "wow, great metaphors! Are you an english teacher?" "No, I'm a fisherman! And I'm not using metaphors, I'm being literal! Can't you tell I'm missing an arm?" "Well, what's the difficulty? You have forty-one others!!" "that one was my favorite!" "well then, find a new favorite!" "Can't you do anything about the large furry creature?" "Hmm." "That's it, I'm going to a private detective." "Wait, sir, We'll get that Wookie!" "Hmm." The fisherman walked away stubbornly. The policeman grumbled, "Lost another loan to Ditech!" scientists are still debating why he grumbled this.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 27, 2005 13:21:49 GMT -5
I'm sorry, HappyPie, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?
Could we possibly cut back on the gratuitous Monty python scene lifting?
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HappyPie
Ranger
One's never alone with a rubber duck.
Posts: 127
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Post by HappyPie on Jun 27, 2005 21:00:30 GMT -5
I was putting it in as a plot device. You'll see. There is some betrayal yet to come, having to do with triple chocolat mini muffins, but trust me, I'm not going to pull a Monty Python.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Jun 29, 2005 2:13:41 GMT -5
Kay, fair enough.
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Nfinity
Ent
Nothing makes sense, when you're easily bewildered.
Posts: 588
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Post by Nfinity on Jun 29, 2005 17:01:06 GMT -5
*Blink* Okee-dokee then. Moving on... actually.... can anyone tell me what's going on here? I've lost track fo the story so far and can't seem to find it again.... a quick summary would be really appreciated... I don't understand what's happened since I *found* Sirius Black and my computer is a little on the fritz today.... much appreciated.
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Tiki
Ranger
I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.
Posts: 245
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Post by Tiki on Jun 29, 2005 22:33:59 GMT -5
Uh...random and scary things happened, Stace. Very random and scary things happened. Like canniballistic Obi-Wanniekins. Anyway, back on subject...
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Nfinity
Ent
Nothing makes sense, when you're easily bewildered.
Posts: 588
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Post by Nfinity on Jun 30, 2005 22:08:35 GMT -5
Confusion rippled through everyone as a fierce, but brief and relatively harmless battle ensued. Rather quickly, all the Sues were subdued and lashed together by a hideous, long, neon orange Day-Glo rope, effectively tying the Sues up and commiting what was to their eyes a heinous act of fashion abuse: clashing horribly with their hot pink suits.
Eventually every one calmed down and stood, panting slightly from the exertion of tying up all the Sues. Scanning the immediate area and finding it satisfactorily devoid of any Sues, Ashley turned to Katie.
"Now what?"
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